


And baby make me see

by haerribel



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Doctor!Reader, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Family Issues, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Puppy Love, Slow Romance, i don't wanna hurt the boys but it might happen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-06
Updated: 2018-11-29
Packaged: 2019-06-23 00:07:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 32,125
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15593868
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/haerribel/pseuds/haerribel
Summary: They need a doctor and you happen to be just what they were looking for. And it’s a permanent job, so you stay.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Woah, my first work in here! Hope you’ll like it! Also, English is not my first language so I’m sorry for any grammar (or other) mistakes.
> 
> I must admit, I have no idea how does it actually work in the kpop industry, but constantly seeing and hearing that the idols are fainting from exhaustion, they’re overworking themselves etc. and it seems like there’s no one to prevent that, I came up with this idea.
> 
> Also, there’s not enough fanfiction about Changkyun, he needs some more love :(((

 

You still couldn’t believe what was happening. This… this was really something. The opportunity you couldn’t let pass by. ~~~~

You were about to end your night shift at the hospital when you got a call from the director. He didn’t explain what was the matter, just asked you to come to his office, which you did, nervous all the way.

You hesitated before knocking on the door and opening them. There was a man sitting opposite of the director and they both turned to look at you when you took a step inside. You bowed politely greeting them. The guest extended his hand for you to shake and introduced himself as a representative of a certain company. When you heard the name, your eyes went wide.

What was someone from Starship Entertainment doing in a hospital, in the director’s office?, you wondered. And more importantly, what did they want from you?

“So this is your rising star?” the man turned towards your boss.

“Yeah. And I’m really not happy to let her go.”

You stood there dumbfounded, still waiting for some explanation. And it came a few seconds later.

Fans were worried about their idols’ health and their voices of concern were growing louder and louder these days. Because of the increasing demands of society, the k-pop industry had to make some changes. Hiring a doctor to supervise the well-being of an idol group was the least they could do to set fans at rest.

This is where you came into play. Director’s acquaintance is a friend of someone from Starship, heard they were looking for a doctor, also heard that you were an exceptionally talented and reliable physician despite your young age. So they informed both sides, set up a meeting and there you were, hearing an unbelievable offer to work for the company. Unbelievable and favourable.

Leaving the hospital and your patients so suddenly? Of course the hospital could handle it, otherwise the director wouldn’t have even considered this whole deal, but still, you were a little sad about bidding this job a farewell. On the other hand – a chance to work with Starship’s most popular band? That kind of offer didn’t come up often.

You had to think it through.

But in the end of course you accepted it.

 

***

 

You reached your destination in the tour of the Starship building. Manager brought you to the studio door. You played with your fingers nervously. Of course you were anxious, when you were just about to meet your favourite k-pop group and hopefully start a long lasting work relationship. Manager opened the door and gestured for you to follow him inside. Few steps in and you stopped in your tracks, watching in awe as the seven boys were dancing in harmony. Their movements were mesmerizing and you couldn’t get enough of the sight. When the song ended manager cleared his throat loudly so they all turned to him. Sweaty and still panting from dancing, they grabbed the towels and lined up in front of you.

“Guys, you’ve heard about company’s new arrangement and this is the person I told you about. She’s gonna be working as the company’s doctor but she’s exclusive medic for your group, meaning whenever you go for a tour, to concerts, fan meetings, etc., she’s gonna be there to assure you come back in one piece.” He sent you a smile and moved to the side, giving you space to talk.

“Hi, I’m Y/L/N Y/N” you bowed, greeting the team.

They answered you in unison and then introduced themselves one by one. Jooheon’s dimples showing and I.M’s shy greeting made you want to scream “CUTE!” but you kept it to only screaming internally. Shownu’s collected, yet at the same time a little confused face made you chuckle. Wonho’s flirtatious smirk warmed your cheeks and as he was showing off his impressive muscles by nuzzling the towel on his neck, your mouth formed a little “o” at the sight. With Minhyuk’s bright smile it was impossible to not smile back as widely as him. Under Kihyun’s gaze you felt suddenly shy, so you quickly jumped to look at Hyungwon, whose tired greeting and bow actually made you feel instant connection.

“Nice to meet you all. As you know” you started with a small smile, “I’m your new doctor. From today on, whenever you have any health problems or just… if there’s something bothering you, don’t hesitate to come to my office and ask for help,” you finished with your words and gaze confident.

After that the manager explained to the group where your office would be, few other things and then he led you out of the room to your very own workplace. You chatted a bit and finally you were left alone to organise your space.

You told the boys that they can come staring today, but you haven’t really got the chance to get to know the place, to see what was there for you to use. The company assured you that there should be everything you needed as they consulted it with some specialists. Of course, you thought, they wouldn’t do it half-heartedly, if they decided on this idea then they would do everything thoroughly. And after looking around you admitted they did a good job with equipping the medical room. There were still some things in the boxes, but you actually wanted to go through that stuff by yourself to check it and put it on the shelves by some kind of order.

You sat on the chair with a sigh and rested your head on the desk. What a day, you thought closing your eyes. When you moved to Korea you had hopes of seeing some of your favourite artists live in a concert or maybe even somewhere on the streets, but you have never imagined that you would be working with them, it was like some kind of miracle. You lifted your head and clapped on your cheeks to wake yourself from this dreamlike state. You still had to unpack those remaining boxes and go through some paperwork before going home.

 

***

 

You were so immersed in unpacking and arranging stuff that when you sat to look through the papers you realised how much time has already passed. Numbers on your phone were showing time close to 5 p.m.

“I guess the rest is going to wait for tomorrow.” A big yawn followed your mumbled words.

But before you go home, you had one more thing to do. You went back to the studio. You were hoping to find Monsta X still there and as you turned around the corner you saw light from the practice room, showing that at least _someone_ was there. You knocked but there was no answer so you hesitated a bit, but then opened the door, peeking inside.

Wonho and Shownu were trying some dance moves fitting the music playing in the background. I.M was sitting on the floor by the mirror, going through the phone, headphones in his ears and hood over his head. Kihyun was pacing back and forth, either mumbling or humming to himself, his eyes closed and hands gesturing like the conductor. On the other side of the room Hyungwon had his head on the table and was staring blankly into space while Minhyuk and Jooheon chatted very loudly right next to him.

First one to notice you was actually Changkyun as he lifted his head few moments after you came in. You smiled and waved at him. While you wondered how to get the attention of the rest, he stood up and went for the speaker. When the music stopped guys looked at I.M., Wonho was a little annoyed for interrupting their dancing so suddenly, Jooheon had to nudge Minhyuk’s shoulder to stop him from talking, Hyungwon just turned his head and a few seconds passed before Kihyun realised the background noise has changed. When the maknae pretty much got their attention, he pointed at you.

“Everyone, the doctor is here.”

Their gazes focused on you, Hoseok’s annoyance suddenly gone from his features.

“I’m sorry to interrupt your practice, but I wanted to tell you something before I go home.” Boys came closer to you to listen. “Two things actually. First, I meant what I said during introduction. I’m a physician so of course, any injuries, cuts, bruises or feeling sick in any way, that’s what I’m treating. But I also wanted to emphasize the psychological issues. I realise it might be hard to trust me this instant, especially since I just started working here, but I still hope we can make it all work. So, whether you’re stressed, depressed, doubting yourselves or have too much on your head and just want to talk it out, I’m here for you. There are no taboo subjects for me. You don’t have to feel embarrassed about anything, I’m not gonna laugh at you or belittle the matter. Also you don’t have to worry about discretion. While I might be obliged to update the higher-ups on your physical health once in a while, I won’t be snitching anything we talk about. Talking is just between you and me, nothing gets out of my office, unless you specifically give me permission.”

You took a deep breath. “If you need more scientific backing, I had psychology and psychiatry classes in med school and also took some courses by myself.”

Through the monologue you locked eyes with each member with all seriousness. Then you paused and closed your eyes, bringing a small smile on your lips.

“So yeah, that’s that. Now let’s move on to the next thing. Um, well, as you can see, I’m a foreigner, I was raised in a different culture, and as much as I adapted to the local customs and I’m trying my best not to offend anyone, some of my old habits are hard to eradicate. What I’m trying to say is that I’m more… touchy, I guess. People here are usually more reserved and I sometimes forget about that, like putting my hand on someone else’s hand while comforting them. Even when I check the temperature, I touch the forehead first. So, if I ever do something that makes you uncomfortable, please tell me about it.”

You opened your mouth as to add something more, but changed you mind halfway. Boys were quiet through your whole speech.

“Well, that’s about it. Do you have any questions? Don’t have to be connected to what I just said,” you encouraged them.

“Do you have anyone? What’s you type?” Minhyuk asked with a grin spreading on his lips. He earned a smack to the back of his head from Wonho, disapproving looks and hisses from the rest. You laughed at both the question and the group’s reaction.

“I certainly did not expect those kind of questions,” you chuckled. “And just out of curiosity, why do you want to know that, my dear?” you finished the question with sweet voice and stared saucily into Minhyuk’s eyes.

His ears went red in seconds and he started to stutter with the answer. You wanted to tease him a little bit more, but Shownu came to his rescue by asking another, this time serious, question.

“What time are you going to be here? I mean, do you have some fixed schedule?”

“Oh, good that you asked. The higher-ups want me here for certain number of hours, but they left choosing the starting time to me. And as I’m your assigned medic, I want to match with your schedule as much as possible. So I wanna know at what time do you usually show up here at the studio?”

“It depends on how much we have to do, some of us can even stay here for the whole night working on something.” You nodded your head in understanding. “But in general at about 10 o’clock everyone’s usually in the studio.” Shownu explained.

“Great, so I will be here from 9, just in case. And one more thing” you started looking through your bag and finally took out a piece of paper and a pen. “Here’s my phone number, everyone please save it in your phones and if there’s any emergency while I’m not in my office, just call me. I live close by, so I can get here in no time.” You handed the paper to the leader. “Each of you, just send me a text with your name or something like that so I would later know who’s calling. Okay, any more questions?”

Wonho looked around, staring at Minhyuk with a warning in his eyes and when they all shook their heads, he turned to you.

“No, we don’t want to take your time, doctor, you’re probably tired from your first day so you should go home and rest. We’ll see you tomorrow.”

You smiled warmly at him and bowed slightly. “Then I’ll take my leave. Don’t overwork yourselves and see you tomorrow, goodbye!”

On the way back home you stopped by the convenience store to buy ingredients for dinner. Wonho was right, you were tired and the thought of preparing a meal for yourself wasn’t very appealing, so you ended up buying some ready food. Once in a while you can settle for this.

You weren’t lying when you said you could get to the studio in no time. Ten minutes’ walk in a city as big as Seoul was really not bad. Company provided you with a flat located close by so you were really thankful. The downside of this was that you had to move from your old one and there were still some boxes left to unpack in your new place but you didn’t even want to think about it. Later, you told yourself, I’ll take care of this later. You just wanted to eat and let it fully get to you that you’ve met the seven men you’ve always dreamt of meeting.

At home, just when you were heating the food, you phone rang. A text message.

_Hello, this is Son Hyunwoo._

Ah, yes, the thing you asked. You quickly saved Shownu’s number. The fangirl side of you was jumping and squealing in excitement, because, well, you had his number in your phone. You were going to have all of their numbers.

Your phone buzzed again. You opened the message and frowned.

_Hello, this is Shownu._

Sent from a different number. You were really confused until another message came.

_Hello,_

_this is my number._

_– Shownu_

Those _kids_ … You looked at the phone with disbelief but when four more messages with person presenting themselves as Shownu came you couldn’t help but laugh. One was also asking if you got home safely, another had some emojis, one more was in all caps and one even had a selca attached!

For now you saved them as Shownu 1 – 7 and wondered how you could play this little game. First you answered that kind question.

_Hi, Shownu 4, yes, I’m home, thank you for worrying. And tell 6 other Shownus I said hello._

Next was the selca one. You searched the internet for the right picture and sent the Hyungwon meme adding “ _looking good, Shownu 7_ ”.

You’re going to have a nice long conversation with them tomorrow.


	2. Chapter 2

At 9 o’clock you were walking through the Starship building’s corridors to your office. On your way you peeked through the glass in the doors of the studio and smiled when you saw Wonho already practising. You reached your office, left your bag there and went back.

Watching him from afar made your heart skip a bit. His moves were beautiful and his muscles, even though quite intimidating, were only adding spice to the dance. You were completely engrossed in the performance so you didn’t hear the person sneaking behind you. Sudden whisper near your ear made you squeak.

“Nice view, isn’t it?”

You tripped trying to turn around and take a step back at the same time and in the end you fell on the door with a thud. Good thing the doors were closed so you just leaned back on them. But your heart felt like it was about to jump out of your chest and you put your hand over it. Seeing how worked up his little surprise got you, Kihyun laughed out loud.

“Oh, for God’s sake! You almost gave me a heart attack!” you snapped.

“I’m… so sorry… doctor…” he managed to say in between attacks of laughter.

Wonho, intrigued by the noise outside, came to the door and opened them. Unfortunately you were still leaning on them. Suddenly losing your balance, you flew backwards. You didn’t know who was more surprised, you by the opened doors or Wonho by your presence. Nonetheless, his reflexes kicked in and he saved you from falling to the ground. There was a moment of silence before Kihyun giggled again. You felt safe with your back against Wonho’s torso and his hand holding your arm for support, but someone had to kick that punk’s ass for giving you such a scare. You managed to finally steady yourself and moved away from Wonho.

“Thank you.”

“No problem” he replied with confusion still present on his face.

Both of you turned to Kihyun who finally collected himself, although was still smiling wildly. At first you wanted to yell at him, but his smile was too irresistible and also you thought of something else.

“I guess pranking me is your new hobby.” You sighed dramatically. “You must be really bored, you poor things. Perhaps I should talk to the manager and convince him to give you some extra work. Especially you here.”

Kihyun’s smile started to falter.

“Doctor…” he started hesitantly.

“Yep, I should totally do that ” you said, looking like someone seriously considering it. “And as it will be coming from someone who’s supervising your health, I suppose he won’t even question it.” You nodded to yourself, staring into space.

In the corner of your eye you saw Kihuyn’s brows going up and jaw dropping.

“I should go there now. Well, if you excuse me…”

When you were about to pass Kihyun, he blocked your way. Then he took a step back and did a 90o bow.

“I’m so sorry, doctor. I acted immature, I hope you will forgive me. Please, don’t assign me more work. This won’t happen again.”

When he straightened his back, he looked really apologetic. Maybe you went overboard with your teasing. You sighed.

“It’s okay. And let’s get one thing straight – I would never, ever do anything to harm you.”

First he furrowed his brows but then looked at you with disbelief.

“So you weren’t going to…?” he mumbled.

“Nope, not even for one second I was serious. If you had let me pass I would’ve probably turned back around the corner and quite literally just kicked your ass.”

He laughed under his breath and shook his head.

“You got me there.”

“Glad we cleared that out.” You smiled cheekily and extended your arm towards him. “We’re good?”

He took your hand and shook it.

“Yeah, we are. Although I should be the one asking this question.”

“Yeah, yeah, I told you earlier, it’s okay, we’re good.”

Both smiling, you finally turned to Hoseok who was still standing in the doorway, watching the whole spectacle with a really confused look on his face.

“Can someone explain to me what did I just see? What exactly happened here? Like, from the very beginning, please?”

He looked back and forth between you two.

“Little shark tried to show his teeth and I just punched him in the nose” you answered, chuckling.

“Pardon?”

Kihyun waved his hand.

“Nevermind. Let’s get inside, after all we interrupted your practice.”

“Sorry for that, didn’t mean to,” you added.

Wonho looked at you two for a few more seconds, then shook his head and stepped back to the room. He actually looked a bit tired and you wondered if he pulled an all-nighter yesterday.

When you sat down, he asked what brought you there.

“Oh, I’ll wait for everyone to arrive, if that’s okay with you, and then I’ll answer your question.”

He eyed you suspiciously, but then shrugged and decided to drop the subject. Kihyun took out his phone and whispered “let’s get you acquainted with some good music”. Monsta X’s Shine Forever started playing from the speakers in the studio and you smiled to yourself. Obviously they had no idea you knew them, you’ve heard and loved their music and adored them as a team. They didn’t really knew a thing about you. So it was quite brave of them to prank you on your first day of work, but on the other hand it gave you hope that there might be a nice relationship blossoming.

You sighed with delight and closed your eyes listening to the tune. You didn’t realize you were rapping I.M’s English part in the beginning and humming to the further parts until you noticed boys looking funny at you.

“What?” you asked feeling a little embarrassed under their stares. “It’s a great song. And I must admit, you have amazing part in there, Kihyun. But as to rap performance, my favourite is the one in Beautiful. This part is awesome too, of course, but that one is more, I don’t know, fiery? Aaand I should stop talking now.”

“Are you, by any chance, a Monbebe?” Hoseok asked with a smirk.

Well, now they knew.

“I… might be?” you said tentatively. He burst out laughing and you pouted. “Oh, come on, don’t laugh at me. Even if I wasn’t a fan, it would be good to familiarize yourself with the work of a band you’re supposed to work with. It shouldn’t be that surprising I know some of your songs.”

Arrival of other members saved you from further embarrassment. Hyungwon came in shoulder to shoulder with Minhyuk, talking about something happily and Shownu quietly following. Few moments later Jooheon and I.M also came, the older boy having his arm hooked over younger’s neck and him trying to get away from the grip. Band members greeted each other and then you, adding a respectful bow.

“Alright-y, as you’re all here, _Shownus from 1 to 7_ , I want to congratulate you on your creativity.” You clapped lightly. “And bravery. Yesterday’s prank really got me good. But as much as it was ha ha funny, I’d like to ask you to never again make a joke out of something important. One would expect grown up men to know how to behave.” Finishing with a cold smile resulted in the mood suddenly dropping. Sure, you wanted to have good relation with them, but there had to be some lines they shouldn’t cross.

“Our doctor is scary,” Kihyun whispered under his breath. You looked at him with a serious face.

“You’re clearly asking for that extra work.”

“You wouldn’t.”

“Maybe I’ll reconsider.” The corner of your lips twitched but you kept a straight face.

Shownu cleared his throat.

“We’re terribly sorry, it was a stupid thing we did. Please accept our apology” he finished with a 90 degree bow, rest of the members followed.

“As long as you understand what you did wrong, apology accepted.”

Just like Kihyun earlier, the members looked apologetic and didn’t seem to know what to do with themselves after the apology. You ruined the good mood they came in with, but it had to be done.

“And this time it’s without any threat of a punishment? That’s not fair,” Kihyun whined.

“Not everyone is as cocky as you, sweetie. Some people here actually have a moral sense, you might learn a thing or two from them, from your leader for example.” You said with a smirk, then turned to the other men with a genuine smile. “Now, who’s the one who sent me a selca?”

And just like that the tension was no more. It was like they held their breaths earlier and now were finally allowed to breathe normally. The usual bright smile returned to Minhyuk’s face.

“That would be me” Wonho spoke up.

“Bummer, I was betting on Minhyuk with this one.”

“Well, he did help me convince Hyunwoo hyung to take a selfie, so you weren’t that much wrong. But what were your other bets?”

“I assumed the first one was the real deal.” You looked questioningly at Shownu and he nodded. “If not the selca, then the shouting one was from Minhyuk, am I right?”

Another confirmation.

“The second one, ‘let’s keep it simple’ – Hyungwon? With emojis… Hmm, maybe Jooheon?” Two correct guesses. “That leaves Kihyun and Changkyun. Ahh, this is difficult, I really don’t know, previous ones kind of fitted you, but the remaining two are too hard to assign.”

Kihyun could be the one asking, as he is so-called mother of the group, but do the motherly instincts extend beyond the band members? That’s the real question. But it could be I.M as well, he’s the youngest here so caring about your safety would have been very polite of him.

“I sent you that poem-like one” Kihyun volunteered to answer before you lost yourself in figuring it out.

“So the question was from Changkyun,” you stated and maknae nodded with the smallest of smiles. “And again, thank you for worrying, that was sweet.”

You took out your phone and changed the names to the everyone’s right ones.

“Aaand done. Okay, I don’t want to take up more of your time so I’ll go now. If you need me, you know where to find me.”

With that you went back to your office and buried yourself in paperwork for the rest of the day.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's another chapter, enjoy! I'll try to update regularly, once a week, if everything goes right :)
> 
> As for this chapter (and actually for the future too), I just want to inform you beforehand - I don’t want to concentrate only on a relationship with Changkyun, so it’s gonna be a lot of interactions with other members too, I hope you don’t mind ;)

Later that day when you connected correct names with phone numbers, Monsta X’s manager sent you their schedule so you could manage your time accordingly. Looking through that it became clear why Wonho was pulling all-nighters, why all of them were working so late and trying so hard. There was a world tour ahead of them and a bit after that, a new album. Not much time between the two, so they have to prepare for concerts and make new songs practically at the same time.

On the third day of your work (which you couldn’t really call work because you were just sitting there, bored), sometime past noon Minhyuk peeked into your office. You smiled at him.

“Hi, what can I do for you?”

“Doctor, are you busy?” His sweet voice made you suspicious. “Do you have any patients? Like, do many people came here recently?”

“Uh, no, actually no one has visited me yet, you’re the first one here. Whatever your reasons are.” You whispered the last sentence to yourself. “To be honest I worry that I might get fired if it goes on like this. I doubt the company will be willing to keep me if this position turns out to be unnecessary.”

“Don’t say that! You’re not unnecessary, you’re needed in our studio.”

He grabbed your wrist and pulled you out of your seat. You didn’t have time to protest as he dragged you out of the office and to the said room. When you came in, four boys were practising new choreography.

When Minhyuk finally let go of your wrist, you crossed your arms.

“I don’t see any emergency here. Unless Jooheon or Changkyun are injured and just hiding somewhere.”

“I never said there was an emergency” he said innocently and walked towards the sofa.

When he sat down he patted the space next to him for you to sit. You took a few steps forward but stopped in front of him, arms still crossed.

“Minhyuk-ah! Did you really bring me here just to fool around?” You gave him a disapproving look. “And by the way, shouldn’t you be practising with them?”

“But doctor, I already memorised this part. And besides, it’s time for a break. And I’m tired.” He whined like a child. Cute, but still _a child_. “And you said you weren’t busy, you had no patients. You were starting to get bored, weren’t you? So I kind of saved you from it, right? And you can keep us company. Also, if anything were to happen, you’re already here so we wouldn’t waste any time to call you. I can only see advantages of the situation.” He finished with confidence, then added cheerfully “Let’s be friends!”

You couldn’t help but laugh at the sudden change of mood at the end of his monologue. Now he was standing again and smiling boldly, his hand extended towards you. You shook it without hesitation.

“Yeah, sure, let’s be friends” you chuckled.

When other members finally took a break and gathered next to you two sitting on a couch, Minhyuk proudly announced that you were friends now. You didn’t think it was anything to brag about, you were just an ordinary person, they were the idols. But apparently it didn’t matter to Minhyuk, he was just happy he made a friend.

Kihyun acted quickly.

“Let’s be friends too” he said, locking his gaze with yours. Wonho, Shownu and Hyungwon followed his request.

“Sure thing. Aah, it’s an honour to have you as friends.”

“Honour? Come on, what are you talking about, doctor? We’re not some superior beings, don’t think about us this way,” Hyungwon spoke.

“Whole world loves you, Monsta X. And I’m just your physician, nobody significant, I’m seriously lucky to be working with you.” To change the subject you added, “Maybe let’s drop the “doctor” thing, just call me by my name, okay?”

After that you talked for a while and you were surprised how easy it was to chat with them. Obviously, at first they were a little uncertain, as you were something new to them, but soon the conversation flew nicely. You found out that the two rappers were absent because they were working on their parts in I.M’s studio. You also noticed the members looking tired, something beyond just after-dancing-tired, and it made you worry, so you brought it up in the conversation.

“And the doctor jumped out,” Kihyun muttered. You glared at him.

“Y/N, you don’t have to be concerned about that.” Shownu spoke up. “We’re trying to do the best we can and we’re always like that. It’s inevitable in this industry, but we know how to handle it.”

It didn’t really convince you.

“Okay, fine, I’ll drop the subject. But I’m not leaving the matter, I’ll be keeping an eye on all of you.”

You talked some more until Shownu decided it was time to get back to work. And this time Minhyuk couldn’t avoid the activity, even you pushed him out. You were ready to leave when Hyungwon stopped you.

“You don’t have to go, Y/N. You can stay here so you wouldn’t be sitting all alone in your office.”

“Actually you can drop by anytime, just leave a note on the door that you’re here or something like that.” Hoseok added. “Nobody will scold you for that.”

So you went to your office, scribbled a note just like Wonho advised, stuck it on the door and went back to their practice room. Watching them dance was fascinating. Even though they weren’t always in sync or were going through one part over and over again despite you not seeing any mistakes, it was like watching magic happen right in front of your eyes.

Shownu was truly a dance god. The way he moved, it was like he felt the music and rhythm in every muscle, every cell of his body. He also transformed from this quiet, modest person to a confident man aware of his abilities. So most of the time you couldn’t take your eyes off of him. But when you did, you saw that other guys weren’t too far behind him. Years of training didn’t go to waste. Hyungwon with his slender body gave off vibes of elegance and grace, also he didn’t miss a beat. You’ve already seen Hoseok practising, but it was a breath-taking view anyway. Minhyuk’s dancing skills also were no joke. And Kihyun tried to make his moves as appealing as it was possible, you assumed he was showing off because he had an audience.

You were tracing his movements and when you looked at his face you realised he found out you were watching him. When your eyes met he winked at you and you felt your face redden. Now you were sure he was dancing like that on purpose. You quickly turned away and tried to focus on something else. You went through your phone as a distraction.

You sat there, watching them, as the day went by. Every time they took a break you tried to strike up a conversation if they didn’t look too beat up, asking about choreography, their schedules, their free time, anything that came to you mind. When they decided to end the group practice and split up, each of them going to work on their own thing, you told them that you’ll be in your office for some more time and later, if anything happens, to reach out to you through the phone.

Back at your desk you flipped through the pages of the members’ medical records. You started reading that in the morning before Minhyuk showed up at your door and just now you could get back to it. You were so focused on the task that the vibration of your phone made you jump in your seat. You almost dropped the briefcase you were going through but were fast enough to catch it.

You checked your phone and smiled when you saw a text from Minhyuk.

MH: _Jooheon and Changkyun also want to befriend you, Y/N! And they’re sad that they missed their chance earlier :(((_

_No need to be sad! I didn’t know it has to be so formal, but I’ll say it again – sure, let’s be friends ;)_

Reply came soon after your message.

MH: _They’re happy now!_

Still smiling, you put down your phone and went back to those few pages you had left. When you finished, you packed you things and went home.

 

***

 

Two weeks passed quite peacefully. No grave injuries, no emergencies to attend to, just one staff member with a sore throat and a dancer with a small graze dropped by your office. During that time you’ve gotten a chance to know the members more because you still had a lot of free time. You sneaked to their practice room and studios whenever you had a chance and knew you weren’t troubling them too much.

Mister leader turned out to be extremely warm and caring person behind that “robot” mask most of the people only saw in him. Your heart melted every time you saw his little gestures of care towards other members. He also had an unwavering patience, like a model parent. It didn’t matter if his teammates  were running around and shouting, disrupting his focus or were attacking him with hugs, he always reacted calmly. You haven’t heard him raise his voice even once. But you saw him smile more times than you could count. At the members’ silly jokes, at their bickering, at those hugs, at every progress his friends made, he was just generally happy to be around them.

There was this thing he said in the past, that he doesn’t talk much because whenever he speaks, the mood goes down and people stop talking. You couldn’t understand why. Yeah, he was a little awkward and sometimes slow at picking up jokes, but when you give him a chance to speak he really shows a beautiful mind. When talking, he was taking his time getting to the main point and maybe that scared people off, but not you. You actually liked chatting with him, as it gave you a sense of calmness and peace of mind. He seemed to like talking to you too, you were a good listener. Even other members noticed that he started speaking with you a lot and they were glad that you got him to communicate more.

Minhyuk was this ball of sunshine, always excited to see you, never missing a chance for some skinship, whether it was grabbing your hands and dragging you around, hugging you or just leaning on your shoulder.

One day you asked him what made him like you and his answer almost made you tear up.

“I don’t know, you looked so cute when the manager introduced you to us and at the same time you gave off those… nice-person vibes. You’re our fan, or so I’ve heard, yet you don’t act crazy around us. I’m really glad we could become friends, I feel like we can trust you. You just seem like the right person in the right place.” After a moment of silence he added, “You sometimes try to be the scary and strict professional, but it doesn’t really suit you, you should stick to the kind side you’re showing us here.”

You were surprised he put so much thought into this.

When he wasn’t snuggling up to you, you liked watching his interaction with other band members. He was almost always cheerful and often kept the atmosphere bright with his jokes. But he could act like a drama queen sometimes and when his friends ignored him, he would pout and sulk until someone gave him attention. Then he would pretend to be gravely offended and not forgiving, yet you could see the corner of his mouth twitching. It wouldn’t take too long before he was grinning again and jumping around happily. Also, mocking Kihyun seemed like his hobby.

Another person who made it impossible to not put on a happy expression when seeing him was Hoseok. With his dazzling bunny smile and adorable laugh he could conquer the hearts of many. He was genuinely a lovely person, usually calm and bright and whenever any of the other members needed some help, he was immediately there for them. He could also be real smart ass when he wanted, teasing his younger friends.

And you loved talking with him, there were so many interesting things going through his mind and when you proved to be a good listener, he often found himself confiding in you.

But he also got upset easily. One day you saw him being in a foul mood and when he went to the small studio to work on songs, you decided to join him a little later. You knocked on the door and after hearing a mumbled permission, you entered the room. Wonho was sitting by the desk, eyes glued on the screen, brows furrowed, he was clicking something furiously and a few minutes later he sighed heavily, leaned back on his chair and placed a hand on his forehead. Just then he noticed you standing quietly by the door.

“Oh, hi, didn’t see you there.” It seemed like the fact that you knocked on the door and he let you in sipped his mind.

“You were pretty immersed in your work, I’m sorry for interrupting.” He answered your smile with a faint one. “Can I sit here?” you gestured to the chair behind him and he nodded.

“Sure.”

“Is everything okay?” you immediately cut to the point. “Wait, let me rephrase that, cause I can clearly see it’s not. What’s troubling you, Hoseok-ah?”

He looked surprised at first, but his expression quickly turned grim as he remembered the cause of his worry. It was clear that he was battling himself whether to tell you or not but in the end he sighed again and lifted his gaze.

“I just… I’m not so sure anymore,” he started enigmatically. You decided not to interrupt him with questions, just let him talk at his pace. “I’ve been working on these songs and I just don’t feel like they’re good enough. At first I liked them, but now… Not anymore. I don’t know, they’ll probably turn out trash and rest of the group won’t like it and the fans won’t like it and—”

“Woah, let me stop you there.” You cut his gloomy speech with a raised hand. “You’ve successfully created a few songs already and they had great reception. Where is this “trash” talk coming from? You didn’t win No.Mercy with just pure luck, you’ve worked hard to get where you are now. You’re not just muscles and no brains, you’re extremely talented and you should believe in yourself more. I’m a big fan of yours and even without knowing what exactly you’re working on now, I’m sure it will be as beautiful as everything else you do for Monbebe. Because you put your whole heart and mind into it and it’s just impossible for it to not be good.”

He was looking at you with eyes like saucers and you saw them brimming with tears. You stood up and approached him for a hug, question in your eyes. He answered it by pulling you closer, wrapping his hands around your waist and burying his face in your chest. You caressed his back reassuringly.

“You’re really amazing and you have no reason to doubt yourself, believe me.”

He whispered a “thank you” and you two stayed like that for a bit, him sniffing from time to time and you rubbing gentle circles on his back. After your encouraging words, he later turned back to the screen with newfound enthusiasm and you smiled to yourself.

Tough on the outside but his sensitive side always peeked through.

Apart from his teasing, it was really nice to talk to Kihyun too. He had this overall youthful appearance and at the same time he could be straightforward, didn’t beat around the bush when something needed to be said. You often had to hold back a chuckle when he was ranting to you about others behaviour. He claimed they irritate him to no end, yet was the first one to worry if something didn’t seem all right. He might appear a bit overprotective of his friends, with his mother-like nagging about dressing up warmer when it was cold outside or bringing extra lunch because he knew someone forgot theirs, but it just showed how much he cared about his teammates.

You were always overjoyed when you met people who knew how to use sarcasm and he was definitely one of them. His sarcasm cracked you up, especially when he was mad (usually at Minhyuk) and he seemed to appreciate it that you two were on the same wavelength.

You quickly grasped the fact that he had quite a high level of confidence, never failing to remind the rest that he was the main vocalist. But it was always funny to see how uneasy he could be with compliments, even though it was clear he loved it.

You followed him to the vocal training once and hearing him sing filled you with awe.

“Wow. That was the most beautiful voice I’ve ever heard. All seven of you have wonderful voices, but you just… wow. That timbre, that power. Kihyun, you’re really something.”

His ears flushed red and he scratched his neck nervously.

“Thanks,” he said, smiling sheepishly and you had to hold back the urge to ruffle his hair.

Another voice which had you captivated belonged to Hyungwon. At some point you heard him singing something and you expressed your fondness, but he eyed you cautiously. When he made sure you weren’t making fun of him, only then he let himself look pleasantly surprised and thanked you shyly. He was a little cautious around you at first, but he tried to get to know you anyway. And in his case, more often it were your sarcastic remarks that made him laugh rather than the other way around.

Although he really slept a lot, it didn’t interfere with his daily duties. He might come to the dance practice groggy and cranky, but others could actually learn how to get shit done from him. It seemed like he was willing to bend his efforts to learn new moves and perfect everything that needed to be done as fast as possible in order to go back to sleep.

One day he looked especially sleepy and when he was dozing off on the couch in the middle of their practice, you tapped him lightly on the shoulder.

“Do you want me to make you some coffee? You look like you could use one,” you whispered and flashed him an understanding smile. And he looked at you like some kind of celestial being manifested itself right in front of him. You suppressed a laughter. “I’ll take that as a yes. I’ll be right back.”

You went to the coffee room and turned on the coffee machine. A few moments later you put the steaming cup in front of Hyungwon and saw an expression of pure delight forming on his face. He took a sip of the hot drink (probably burning his tongue but it didn’t faze him) and leaned on your shoulder. You chuckled and patted his head. You never thought you could win him over with a simple thing like coffee.

On the other hand Jooheon and I.M weren’t that easy to familiarize with. Despite that message about them wanting to be friends, they didn’t really show much enthusiasm about getting to know you. You suspected that Minhyuk might have not been completely honest with you in that text.

Jooheon seemed to avoid you in the beginning and acted kind of cold towards you and it made you worry. Finally, you asked Kihyun if you did something wrong or offended him in any way.

“No, of course not! He just doesn’t know how to act around pretty girls.”

Oh god, he was such a flirt and he looked so smug every time he made those comments. He probably made it his mission to make you blush at least once a day. You had to clear your throat before you spoke.

“Can I get a serious answer? Without any cheesy remarks? Please?”

“Cheesy? I feel offended.” He dramatically wiped away imaginary tears. “All I said was true. You’re pretty. And he’s just shy. Maybe you should try to take the initiative.”

Later that day Jooheon actually came up to you and asked to talk in private. You eyed Kihyun suspiciously before following the man outside. It turned out he wanted to apologize for making you feel guilty.

“Did Kihyun push you to do it?” you asked with a raised brow.

“Nooo… Okay, yes, he might have given me a hint at what I’m doing wrong.” Jooheon was hesitant to meet your eyes.

“Ah, he really shouldn’t have. I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable.”

“But it’s totally okay! I’m not uncomfortable. I just—” he paused, looking for the right words. “I just didn’t know how to approach you. You intimidate me a little,” he finished under his breath and his cheeks tinted rosy pink.

You couldn’t believe what you just heard. He was just so utterly _adorable_.

“Jooheon-ah, why would you be intimidated by me?”

He mumbled something that sounded like “the same reason Changkyun is acting like he is”, but you didn’t really catch it, so you just shrugged it off.

“Anyway, don’t be, please. It should be other way around, you’re the badass rapper with killer voice and looks.” This made him blush even more. “And I can clearly see you didn’t mean any harm by keeping distance, you’re actually really kind, so can we… put the whole situation past us? And start anew, but this time without holding back?”

That whole conversation was kind of awkward, but he nodded at your question and in the end both of you smiled timidly at each other.

After that you and Jooheon tried to build your relation and improve communication. And it worked, with you approaching him more and him trying hard to overcome his shyness, that sweet side of him showing more often. You were glad the whole situation turned out all right.

It was a different case with I.M. He wasn’t avoiding nor ignoring you. He was there, was available to talk, but the answers he gave were so extremely polite, it drove you nuts. He didn’t elaborate on any subject, he was just saying the bare minimum. It was like he didn’t want to give too much away. You were a new addition to the team and he just didn’t trust you. Yet. You were determined to earn it.

You just wondered why did Minhyuk say that maknae also wanted to be friends with you when he clearly wasn’t acting accordingly. He was mostly quiet and reserved around you, sometimes giving you quick glances he thought you didn’t notice but whenever you turned to smile at him he looked the other way with a straight face and pretended nothing happened.

When you were on better terms with Jooheon, you asked him what can you do to make the youngest open up. You chose this person to ask because as far as you knew they had the closest relationship. To your surprise he laughed it off and said that the trust might not be the issue here.

“You shouldn’t push it for now, Changkyun will finally act like a decent human being. He’ll use that big brain of his, he just needs time to think and figure it out.”

You wanted to ask what exactly he has to figure out, but Jooheon spoke before you did.

“He’s just a weird kid, don’t let it get to you,” he stated and patted your shoulder.

You were left more confused than before the conversation, but decided to listen to the advice. After the first week Changkyun indeed changed his behaviour. It wasn’t a huge difference but he was a little more open, talked a little more and most importantly dropped that overly polite tone. He even made a few puns which made you giggle uncontrollably. And when you smiled at him, he actually responded with a small smile, even though averted his eyes seconds afterwards.

Two weeks passed pretty fast and you were really delighted you’ve gotten to know the band members better and was accepted by them too. And on your day off the boys invited you to dinner.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the kudos uwu  
> And don't be afraid to leave a comment! or hmu on twitter @giddykyun


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before you start reading - this chapter is one of the reasons why i put the tag "family issues" out there. The scene isn't very detailed, I think, but I just felt the need to warn anyone who might need the warning.
> 
> Other than that, enjoy!

You were told it’s just a dinner with friends so you weren’t going to dress up too fancy. You decided on skinny jeans and casual t-shirt, in contrast to your usual work look which was more formal. Light touch of make-up, your favourite perfume and you were ready to go.

The boys offered to pick you up so you gave them you address the day before and now were just waiting for the call. When it came, you grabbed a jacket and went out with a huge smile on your face. They were waiting for you in the van parked across the street. Overly excited Minhyuk jumped out of the car and ran to you. He surprised you with a hug and spin, making you squeal.

“Noona! Let’s go eat something delicious!”

Woah, where did that “noona” came from? You were taken aback. They never actually asked your age so they didn’t know which term to use. And yet he decided to call you that. Cute.

Before you could say something, side doors of the van slid open and Wonho shouted.

“Minhyuk-ah, behave yourself! Come on, get back here.”

Minhyuk’s pout made you chuckle when you were walking to the car. He took the passenger’s seat and there was a free seat prepared for you behind him, with Kihyun and Hoseok in the same row. Hyungwon was today’s driver and Hyunwoo, Jooheon and Changkyun were sitting in the back. You got in the car and Minhyuk closed the doors behind you.

After exchanging greetings you were fidgeting nervously in your seat. You couldn’t exactly stay calm.

“Guys, is it really okay for me to show up anywhere with you? I mean, you’re idols and you probably know what appearing with a woman next to you does to the fanbase. Wouldn’t it cause you any problems if someone sees me hanging out with you?”

Hyungwon glanced at you in the rear view mirror. “First of all, we’re going to a quiet place the fans don’t know about. The owner is also watching out for unwanted people there on our behalf,” he said. “So there shouldn’t be any problems. And secondly, you’re working with us, we’re friends and we’re seeing each other every day, why shouldn’t we go out together sometimes? We’ll protect you if something were to happen.”

“Oh, I don’t care about myself, I’m more worried about you and your public image.”

“Y/N, please don’t say that.” Hoseok looked at you agitated. “You are important too, don’t belittle yourself. Our public image is maintained by the company, we’re kind of protected while you could get hurt more easily.”

He kept staring intensely at you until you nodded and muttered an apology.

“I hope you won’t regret this…” you whispered to yourself in English. You had this funny habit of switching languages when nervous and you often did it unconsciously.

“We won’t and I hope you will have fun too.” Sudden whisper behind you made you wince. You thought no one have heard you, but it turned out that Changkyun in the seat behind you picked up what you mumbled. “Seriously, don’t worry that much, relax.”

“Fine, fine, I’ll try.” You scowled. “How did it happen that the youngest is comforting me?”

He just stuck out his tongue. You mocked his expression.

Then you noticed other members looking at you with raised brows. You wanted to ask what’s wrong, when something hit you. You turned back to Changkyun.

“Why did we have that conversation in English?” you asked perplexed and this time you switched back to Korean.

“You started.” He looked amused. “And I hoped to exclude them from the talk.”

“Unfortunately for you, _they_ can understand English quite well already.” Kihyun drawled the words, squinting at the maknae.

“But you didn’t speak and that was the point,” he kept teasing his hyung. You decided to step in.

“I’m sorry guys, I didn’t realize what I was doing, but anyway, it was rude of me. And I’m sorry for this ill-mannered kkukkungie.”

“Did you just…” Changkyun gaped at you in disbelief and Hoseok started laughing loudly.

“Someone did their research,” Hyungwon added from the driver’s seat.

Using the nickname Hoseok gave Changkyun surely lightened up the mood. Even the youngest’ look of betrayal turned into a smile in no time. Rest of the drive passed in a nice atmosphere and when you reached your destination, you felt like you could fully enjoy the afternoon rather that worry too much.

In the small restaurant the owner greeted the boys friendly and informed that their usual spot is ready. You followed the group, takin in the delicious smell that was lingering in the air. At the table Hyunwoo and Kihyun, just like model parents, took the head seats at both ends of the table and you were seated between Hoseok and Minhyuk. It didn’t take much time for all of you to decide on the food, excluding your whining about not yet being used to eating all the spicy dishes.

“Speaking of, how exactly did you end up in this faraway land, so far from home?” Jooheon asked from the other side of the table.

“Well, Korea was always my dream and as I couldn’t afford a spontaneous trip and also didn’t feel like just a trip would satisfy me, I aimed for some kind of scholarship or exchange at my university. I’ve been working hard to learn the language and get good grades at school and I finally made it. I’m here since that time and I wouldn’t change a thing.” You smiled widely at him.

“Also I’m sure the agency wouldn’t take just anyone for our physician, so you must have some high reputation. I don’t want to sound rude, but how did you get so far at such a young age?” Hyungwon inquired. “I mean you look young, we never asked your age…”

“It’s okay,” you chuckled and answered his question a little embarrassed. “I might have umm, skipped a few grades? And finished my education earlier than people my age? It just happened that I was talented enough to be noticed by the company.”

“Things like that don’t _just happen_ , you really are something. Be more confident about it!” Hoseok patted your head. “I guess we have another genius on board.”

You blushed at the title, then looked up at him questioningly. He pointed at Changkyun, who rolled his eyes, explaining that before pursuing the career of an idol he wanted to be a scientist like his father. Maknae confirmed the story with a nod.

When the food arrived everyone forgot about the conversation for a while.

Finally Minhyuk turned to you with puppy eyes and asked, “Noona, so how old are you?”. This time you couldn’t really evade it. You sighed.

“A few days older than you, Minhyukkie.”

Kihyun and Hoseok almost simultaneously choked on their food and Changkyun on his drink. Jooheon stopped halfway through taking a bite. Hyungwon looked comical with his cheeks stuffed and mouth slightly open. Only Minhyuk and Hyunwoo just raised their brows. You regretted not having taken a photo of them because the group truly looked hilarious.

“How many grades did you skip exactly?” Kihyun managed to ask between his coughing fits. You ignored the question.

“So I can really call you noona? Or do you not like it?” Minhyuk seemed sad asking the second question.

“Our age difference is really small” you started hesitantly. Seeing him sulking, you added, “But you can call me whatever you like, I don’t mind.”

He instantly lightened up and clapped his hands. “Awesome! Thanks!”

When others put themselves together, you changed the subject.

“Enough about me, tell me something more about yourselves. How did you guys get where you are now? I mean, I know the team was assembled through No.Mercy and I know more or less your road to current popularity. But I’m curious what made you want to become an idol. Or just, you know, some pre-debut stories.”

Changkyun shifted uncomfortably at the mention of the program. You weren’t surprised, you’ve seen it and remembered that because of his late arrival he wasn’t really welcomed by other participants. It was painful to watch on the screen, so you couldn’t even imagine how it must have felt for him in person. The members he was now so close with, they were like a family, but they had a rough start.

After ordering some drinks, each of them shared some stories. Jooheon about being an underground rapper, Shownu about almost debuting with some of GOT7 members, Hoseok about being a backup dancer for SISTAR. Changkyun mentioned his former group, Nu’Bility, Hyungwon talked about modelling and Kihyun about photography. It wasn’t something you didn’t know, but hearing it directly from them made a difference. Those weren’t just plain facts but stories full of emotions.

Then out of the blue Minhyuk attacked you with another straightforward question, whispered confidentially.

“Are you dating anyone?” As he was asking it a second time, he probably won’t give up until you give him an answer. Hyunwoo sitting next to him sighed heavily.

“Sorry about that, Minhyuk can get ahead of himself sometimes. He may look angelic, but he’s a devil in disguise. You can just ignore him.”

“I feel like he won’t rest until he gets an answer,” you laughed and shook you head, then focused on the younger man. “And why are you so eager to know that, Minhyukkie?”

“I’m just worried about you! We take up a lot of your time and we don’t want to ruin your personal life.” You smirked at his explanation. This time he was prepared.

“No need to worry, I’m single. You can take up as much of my time as you want.”

“While we’re at it, what’s your—“

“Type?” You didn’t let him finish, you suspected he will repeat the second question from your first talk too and you were right. “I don’t really have one, I look at the person’s personality rather than their looks. I need to get to know someone before I fall for them. And then the visuals don’t really matter. There’s just one condition, from my experience I don’t date people younger than me. Was that detailed enough for you, Minhyukkie? Although I don’t know how is this information relevant to your worry about taking up my time.”

At least he had some decency to look sorry for all the questioning. You turned to the rest of the members and smiled maliciously.

“Let’s get him drunk so he can suffer a bit tomorrow, please.” Your request was met with applause and wave of laughter.

You were having so much fun trying to pour some alcohol into Minhyuk, fighting for bits of food and just chatting with the group that when you felt your phone buzzing in your pocket, you were completely unprepared. You saw the ID of the caller and your smile fell at once. You turned pale and felt your hands start to tremble. You put away the chopsticks shakily and stood up abruptly. Even if some of the members didn’t notice the change in your behaviour earlier, all eyes were on you now.

“I’m— I’m so sorry. I need… t-to take this,” you mumbled, not looking up and stormed out of the room.

Why was she calling you? Was it about the job? Did she find out already? But how?

Seconds later, you finally answered the phone.

“Why the fuck did it take you so long to answer?”

“I’m sorry, mom, I was—“ Before you could finish the sentence, she cut you off.

“I don’t care. You’d better explain to me what the fuck do you think you’re doing, you…”

Your words didn’t matter in this conversation. You wouldn’t even call it a conversation, more like a one long series of insults. And you stood there, in a narrow alley next to the restaurant, frozen in place, listening to all the hateful words, tears streaming down your cheeks. You didn’t know how much time has passed until she finally ended her tirade and hung up. You leaned on the wall and blankly stared at the screen of your phone for a minute. Then you slid down, put your arms around the knees and hid your face. You needed to calm down, but the tears didn’t want to stop falling.

 

***

 

“She’s been gone for a long time now, don’t you think? I’m worried about her.” Hoseok looked at his friends.

“We should look for her. You’ve seen what state she was in when she saw that call,” Hyungwon added.

“I’ll go.”

 

***

 

You didn’t hear the footsteps, so the light touch on your shoulder really surprised you.

“Y/N? Hey, Y/N, are you okay? Can you hear me?”

You raised your head, hearing that low and gentle voice. The man crouched next to you and you looked into his eyes full of concern.

“Oh, Changkyun? What are you doing here?”

“I— We were worried about you. You weren’t going back for such a long time.” He was scanning your face and even in the dim light of the street lamps it didn’t escape his notice how puffy and red your eyes were. “Can you get up?”

You sniffed and nodded absent-mindedly. He extended his hand and helped you stand up. Looking at him you finally snapped back to reality.

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry.” You quickly wiped your eyes in attempt to cover up the fact that you were crying. It was useless, you knew that, but needed the action for comfort. “I’m sorry. I’m…”

“Hey, hey, calm down.” Changkyun put his hands on both of your arms. “You don’t need to apologize. Are you okay?” he asked again.

“Yeah, I’m fine. I’m fine. I’m good,” you mumbled, avoiding his gaze.

“Y/N.” His voice was incredibly soft.

You stopped rambling but you didn’t dare to look up so he gently grabbed your chin and raised your head. You locked your gaze with his, but the right words didn’t want to come out. “I’m—“ you stuttered.

When he saw your eyes brimming with tears, he didn’t hesitate and pulled you into a hug. He stroked your hair with one hand.

“Shhh, it’s okay, it’s okay, I’m here, it’s gonna be fine” he whispered.

He was mumbling nonsense comfort words to you and you snuggled into his chest and took a shaky breath, trying not to cry again. You stayed like that for a few minutes, letting the warm feeling envelop and calm you. Then you moved away and rubbed your eyes.

“Thank you,” you said quietly, then cleared your throat and looked up.

“Do you want to talk about this?” he asked, uncertain of what he should do or say. You bit your lip and then shook your head. “It’s okay, I understand. Um, you probably don’t want to go back? I should walk you home.”

You looked down at your feet.

“Yeah, I’d rather not ruin your evening any more than I already have. I should go home.”

“You didn’t ruin anything, don’t even think like that.” He glared at you. “Just wait a moment, I’ll get your stuff and be right back.”

When he went back to the restaurant you leaned back against the wall and looked at the night sky. That phone call drained your energy, you felt exhausted both mentally and physically and you were pretty sure the night ahead won’t bring you relief.

 

***

 

As soon as Changkyun came back to the group, Hyunwoo asked, “Is she okay?”

“Kind of. Not really. Uh, she’s a mess right now, I’ll walk her home.”

“Wait, kiddo, it’s quite a long way and it’s getting late. I’ll drive you there,” Hyungwon offered. “And then I’ll go back for you, guys, okay?”

They all agreed. Changkyun grabbed your jacket and bag and followed his hyung outside.

 

***

 

You came out from the alley just as the two men left the restaurant. You were surprised to see Hyungwon there but when he explained that he’ll drive you home, you actually felt thankful. You weren’t sure if you had the strength for a walk. You were also grateful that he didn’t comment on your messy state. When you were walking to the van, he just leaned to you and quietly asked if you were okay. When you nodded, he patted your head and sent you a warm smile.

In the car you sat by the window and Changkyun took a seat next to you. You weren’t in the mood for talking and the boys seemed to understand that as they didn’t try to initiate a conversation. Hyungwon just put on some ambient music and turned down the volume. Scenery passing monotonously outside and peaceful mood inside the car made you drift off to sleep.

Changkyun noticed you dozing off and worried you would hit the window while sleeping. He gently moved your head so it rested on his shoulder. You unconsciously shifted closer to him to get more comfortable and stayed like that for the rest of the ride.

When you reached your house, he picked you up and carried out of the car. Your eyelids begin to flutter open but Changkyun whispered “Shh, go back to sleep.” And you gladly obeyed, resting your head back on his chest. He smelled nice, you thought dreamily.

Hyungwon took out your keys and opened the doors for the maknae. They tried to climb the stairs as quiet as possible.

“You put her in the bed, I’ll wait in the car” Hyungwon spoke softly, unlocking the doors to your apartment and turning on the lights in the corridor. “Just… don’t do anything stupid.”

Changkyun looked at him with furrowed brows. When he was about to demand an explanation from his hyung, the latter waved his hand.

“Go.”

He shook his head, still feeling confused, and took a step into your place. Doors to your bedroom were open so he easily found it and there gently put you down on the bed. He took the shoes off your feet and covered you with a blanket he found sitting on the end of the bed. When he was about to leave you tugged at his sleeve.

“Thanks, Kyunnie. For being there for me,” you muttered sleepily. He crouched down and grabbed your hand that was holding his sleeve.

“You’re welcome, Y/N. And just remember, you can always rely on me, on us. We’ll be here to help you whenever you need it, just like you offered us the same. Now sleep. Good night, Y/N.” And he caressed you hair.

“G’night, Kyunnie.”

Your answer was barely audible as your eyelids were getting heavy. You heard the bedroom door close and drifted off back to sleep.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *sigh* Maybe I should add "slow burn" tag to the description? just to emphasize, because things are really going... well, slow >.< (sorrynotsorry)
> 
> And next week I'm going on a trip so there won't be an update, sorry :((

 

You stepped out of your room sighing heavily. Last night didn’t count as the best one. You slept peacefully for an hour or so after Changkyun left, but then the anxiety got you good. You suddenly woke up and then were unable to fall asleep again, you were tossing and turning in your bed, and when you did manage to doze off, the nightmares made sure you didn’t get any real rest. So you got up feeling truly awful and with dark circles under your eyes.

But one look at your phone and you were smiling again. Seven messages showing that someone cared about you made you feel warm and fuzzy inside. Maybe you didn’t have the strength to face the day but at least you had the desire to do something nice for the boys. Partially as an apology for running away the day before and possibly ruining the dinner but more as a form of gratitude for their kindness. Because they took you under their wings, even though they didn’t have to.

For the first time since you started working for the company you made use of the privilege of not having fixed working hours. You didn’t rush with getting ready and by the time you usually were at your office, you were just stepping outside of your flat. With your earlier thoughts in mind you took a detour to a café and ordered seven iced coffees and some fresh baked muffins.

When you were waiting for your order, you got another text.

CK: _You’re not in your office yet, is everything okay?_

It was so sweet of Changkyun to worry about you that much. You suddenly remembered how you were clinging to him the day before. And how nice it was to be so close to him. His steady arms, his warmth, his smell. You felt the blush rising to your cheeks and you had to shake your head to dispel those thoughts. He was your friend and just acted like one. On the other hand you didn’t know how would you have calmed down that evening if it wasn’t for him.

_Don’t worry, Kyun, I’m fine, I’ll just be a little late_.

A quarter later you were walking to the studio feeling slightly less shitty. When you got there you knocked on the door and peeked inside. They were already practising something. Hoseok noticed you first and smiled brightly.

“Y/N, come on in!”

“Time for a break, I’ve got you something,” you announced as you walked in and raised the bag with coffee and snacks.

You only had time to put it down when someone unexpectedly hugged you. Of course it was Minhyuk.

“I’m so glad you’re here and you’re okay. Because you are okay, right? I was worried about you.” It felt like he wouldn’t stop talking, but Wonho put a hand on his shoulder.

“Minhyuk, let her breathe.” Younger one listened after a second of hesitation. Then Hoseok looked at you and his gaze softened. “We were all worried. Are you feeling better?”

“Yeah, that was… I’m fine now.” You really didn’t want to go into details about what happened so you cut your answer short. Then you took a step back and did a 90o bow. “I’m sorry you had to worry about me. I apologize for the trouble yesterday.”

They started protesting almost in unison. When you raised your head you got a hug from each of the members along with the lines like “Are you stupid?”, “What are you apologizing for!”, “Don’t be ridiculous!” etc. It made you tear up and you had to look away to hide your watery eyes.

“Guys…” you said after a moment and looked at them. “You’re seriously too good to be true.”

Hyungwon chuckled and ruffled your hair. “We’re real. And we’re here for you too, if you ever need us.”

“I told you.” Changkyun smiled and winked at you. You took a deep breath.

“Okay, now get your drinks before the ice melts.” You waved in the direction of the bag.

When Hyungwon took out the coffee, he hugged the cup, sighed with relief and stated “That’s it, guys. She’s a keeper.”

Jooheon with his mouth stuffed with muffin agreed. “Yup, we’re definitely keeping her.”

You laughed out loud. It was so easy to make them happy. And they were such a cheerful group. Minhyuk out of nowhere started chasing Jooheon around the room, shouting something about “the need to burn those muffin calories”. Kihyun decided to show off his vocal skills and Hoseok wasn’t going to let that happen, so he immediately started poking and tickling the younger. Huyngwon just judged them from afar, calmly sipping his coffee. Hyunwoo looked like he wanted to stop his crazy children at first but has given up halfway and Changkyun sat next to you and watched the whole scene with a fond smile on his face. Then his gaze shifted to you.

“Did you get any sleep last night? Because you don’t seem like it.”

Damn this kid, he must have kept a close eye on you, because you definitely tried to cover up the shades under your eyes with make-up and tried your best not to show any tiredness in your behaviour. Or maybe he was just sensible enough to figure it out. You considered lying your way out of the question but seeing his piercing gaze made you think that he might not accept anything other than the truth.

“Well, I did get _some_ , maybe two or three hours in total.”

“Then what are you doing here? You should’ve taken a day off or something and rested.”

You raised your brow, hearing his suggestion.

“Are you kidding me? Just because I slept shorter than usual? It’s not like it’s my first time. Half of my time at uni, and also later to be fair, was spent with me sleeping less than five hours a day. This was just one bad event of the evening, nothing I can’t handle.” You patted his thigh. “And also, I’m aware of how terrible your sleeping habits can get because of your work and I don’t see you taking a day off. I must live up to the standards.”

He didn’t have any counter to that so he just huffed and turned away. It was obvious he didn’t like the fact that he couldn’t deny your reasoning.

“Oh, come on, don’t be mad at me now.” You playfully nudged him.

“I’m not mad, I just… Uh, nevermind.”

“You just what?” You looked at him expectantly. “Don’t do that, you started the sentence, so finish it. Just what, huh?”

“Although I don’t even know what was that all about, I just… wish you didn’t have to go through something like this,” he finally declared quietly.

“Oh, Kyunnie…” You put your arm around him and rested your head on his shoulder. “That’s so sweet of you. But some things are bound to happen, whether you want it or not, no one can help it,” you said with a sad look in your eyes. “But knowing you are there for me is more than enough.”

“Aww, look at them, how cute!” Hoseok finally left Kihyun alone and directed his attention to you. “Don’t you try and steal our maknae just for yourself.”

You squinted at his joke and before you got a chance to retort, you had to move away as he attacked Changkyun with hugs. Hugs that turned into strangulating grip very quickly. The younger tried to fight his hyung at first but soon gave up. Resistance was futile anyway, he just had to endure those twisted displays of affection.

“Oh my god, Hoseok-ah, let him go, please,” you asked, trying not to laugh at the expression Changkyun was making. “I’m starting to fear for his life.”

The older released him with a wild grin and Changkyun desperately gasped for breath.

Hyungwon leaned over to you. “It might look scary but they’re always like that.”

“They?” Hoseok interrupted. “Don’t talk like you’re not taking part in it too.”

“Whatever.” He waved his hand at Wonho and went back to speaking to you. “My point was that you don’t have to be afraid, we know the boundaries, we won’t hurt each other. Not purposefully at least.”

You nodded, lifting the corner of your lips. It wasn’t the first time you saw them playfully fight or shove each other around but it made you hold your breath every time anyway because of the thousand ways you pictured it going wrong. And the last sentence Hyungwon said made you think that throughout their career they might have already had to deal with the consequences of playing with too little care. But they were all still alive and kickin’, and that’s what mattered, right?

After that merry break they went back to practice. You sat by the wall and leaned against it to comfortably watch them dance. Your eyelids were becoming heavier and heavier and finally you gave in to the sweet embrace of sleep.

You were woken up by the light tap on your shoulder. You had to blink a few times for your vision to focus. When you turned your head you saw Changkyun standing next to you with a warm smile on his lips.

“Did you have a nice nap?”

“Yeah, actually I did.” You stretched your arms over your head and rubbed your face to get rid of the remnants of sleep. Then you noticed the room was quiet and empty. “Where’s everyone?”

“Hyunwoo and Hoseok went for a photoshoot, Hyungwon has some modelling stuff to take care of, Kihyun and Minhyuk are doing a vlive soon and Jooheon went to his studio to work on some songs. I’m joining him but as much as you looked cute sleeping, I didn’t want you to wake up to an empty room.”

You were still dazed from the nap so your brain didn’t really catch what he said until moments later but it was too late for any answer. You just ended up staring at the younger man with your mouth slightly open and ears flushed pink.

“Maybe you want to accompany us? Or do you want to sleep some more?” he asked, tilting his head.

“No, no, I’ve had enough rest. Can I? Watch you work, I mean.” He raised a brow at your question.

“You’ve already been here for two weeks, you know damn well you can.”

“Language, Kyun,” you reprimanded him, not really being serious, which made him smirk.

He extended his hand towards you and helped you get up. You swayed a little because of how sudden that movement was so he put a hand on your waist to prevent you from falling over. You had to squeeze your eyes shut and grab his shirt for extra balance as the blood rushed from your head from the change of position. At the same time he didn’t let go of your hand and you ended up unexpectedly close to each other. When you finally felt more stable, you opened your eyes and was immediately met with Changkyuns gaze. He seemed surprised with the proximity between your faces but you also saw a flash of something else in his eyes, something soft... It was there for just a second so you didn’t get a chance to name the emotion. You didn’t know how long you two just stood there, both as if almost afraid to breathe. It was probably a really short moment, but when your brain finally kicked in, you moved away quickly, releasing the grip you still had on his shirt, and felt the heat rising up on your cheeks.

What was wrong with you today? You lightly shook your head. Lack of proper night sleep was really affecting your actions. Yeah, that was definitely the cause.

“So, uh…” You had to clear your throat before trying to speak again. “We should, um, probably go, Jooheon’s waiting for you.”

“Yeah, right. Right. Let’s go.” Changkyun looked a little panicked, with his cheeks also reddened.

Just as you left the studio, you bumped into someone. A man greeted you two and stated that he was just looking for you. He asked for your assistance. On your first day you were introduced to a ton of people, so you didn’t actually remember his name, but Changkyun addressed him with respect so you figured he was someone with longer work experience.

“There’s this kid that stubbornly claims he’s fine when he’s clearly not. And having dealt with this kind of behaviour before,” he shot a suggestive glance towards the maknae, “I know he won’t listen to anyone but a professional, so I’m gonna need your help.”

You raised your brows questioningly at Changkyun. The older man smirked.

“Yeah, he’s that kind of kid too, watch out for him. He won’t tell anyone that he’s not okay until he’s practically dying.”

“Kid” in question huffed and muttered “Come on, hyung, I’m not _that_ bad.”

You chuckled but took a mental note of the fact.

“Sorry, Kyunnie, but I need to care of this.” He nodded in understanding. “Well, I’ll see you around then.”

You parted ways and the man lead you to a group of young boys practising. After a quick look around you noticed that one of them couldn’t keep up with the rest. His moves were unsteady, breathing uneven and he was sweating excessively. You pointed at him and asked if that was said troublemaker.

Their teacher stopped the practice, introduced you to the trainees and you finally could put your abilities and medical knowledge to use.

 

***

 

Later that day you went to the coffee room to grab a drink and had a chance to chat with some members of the staff. You didn’t have many opportunities to bond with them as you spent most of your time with the band but they treated you nicely anyway and you appreciated every chance of getting to know them better.

You were engaged in a conversation with some stylists, when your phone rang. You checked it and smiled at Jooheon’s name on the screen.

“Oh my, you even text with them?” One of the girls saw who messaged you. “Aah, I’m kind of jealous.”

“Aish, no one cares,” another one said and stuck her tongue out. “So? What did he write? Spill it, sis.”

You tried to suppress you laughter seeing their bickering. You unlocked your phone and opened the message.

JH: _Kkukkungie misses you~_

It had a photo of Changkyun attached and clearly he wasn’t aware of it being taken. He was staring blankly ahead of him, with his head rested on his hand and a pen put behind his ear. He actually looked kind of sad with a little pout and furrowed brows, but you were guessing it was because he couldn’t find the right words to fit the lyrics rather than because of “missing you”. Either way, when you and other girls saw the photo, you all went “awwwww” at the cuteness presented to you.

Girls were kind enough to let you go with just light teasing and promised not to tell Jooheon or Changkyun they saw the picture. When you went back to your office you looked at it again with a fond smile. You realised the boy was growing on you, first quiet and withdrawn, but then he started opening up, showing his brighter side, intellect and overall nice and warm personality. Each of the members was unique and you grew fond of them all but Changkyun stood out just a little bit more, probably because of his actions of genuine care and concern that evening. At least that’s how you explained it to yourself.

You finally answered Jooheon with short “ _cute_ ” and a heart emoji. You didn’t have to wait long for a text back, but this time it was from Changkyun himself.

CK: _I can’t believe he did that. Please, ignore him…_

CK: _Gosh, this is embarrassing_ , he added a second later. You grinned as you imagined how he must have looked at that moment.

_Relax Kyunnie, I know Jooheon was joking around. But I’m keeping the photo anyway, you looked cute, so concentrated and all._

CK: _…_

CK: _Cute. Riiiight._

CK: _Fine, keep it, but if it’s like that, I want one in return._

Oh, he had some nerve. You shook your head, laughing under your breath. You’ve never felt too comfortable with taking photos, you usually didn’t like how they turned out so it took you some time until you got an acceptable one. And just to tease the maknae you’ve left him hanging for a little longer. In the meantime you watched the vlive in which Kihyun and Minhyuk were cooking. They did a similar one in the past, both fans and them enjoyed it so much they decided to repeat it someday. And this time too, they seemed like they were having fun and it was pleasant to watch.

Finally you sent your selfie to Changkyun and got a response, but not from him actually. You burst out laughing.

JH: _What the hell did you send him? He looked like he had some kind of seizure._

_Huh, didn’t know a selca can have that kind of effect… Heck, I wish I had been there to see it._

_Or perhaps– Please say you got it on camera._

JH: _You dare to doubt me? I feel offended._

JH: _You’ll get to see it the first thing in the morning ;*_

You grinned at your phone. Next day was going to start off very nicely.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the kudos <3 and remember you can also leave a comment, I'd like to see what you think about the story ^.^  
> i'm also on twitter @giddykyun if you wanna talk!


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whew, this time the chapter's a little longer. Yay! And it has a lot of blushing included, sorry for that X"D and is that... is that... /something actually happening/ in the distance? o.o

 

When you entered the studio, you quickly searched for Jooheon and gestured for him to come over. He was supposed to give you what he promised the day before. He approached you with an evil grin and took out his phone.

“Kyunnie was constantly checking his phone, I knew something was up and thus I present you this mighty video.”

The poor boy on the screen indeed looked like he was having some kind of attack. First he froze for a moment, his eyes went big, then suddenly he choked on his breath, started coughing badly and wheezing, everything while looking at his phone. His face went red and he had to put the device away to compose himself but it took him a minute anyway. You laughed so much it hurt.

Rest of the members looked at you questioningly and Changkyun eyed both of you you rather suspiciously.

“They’re going to see it anyway, am I right?” you asked Jooheon when you managed to calm down a little.

“We never miss a chance to tease our maknae,” he admitted shamelessly. “But he knows we love him.”

“I hope he does.”

“You did not just showed her what I think you did,” Changkyun stepped closer. When Jooheon happily confirmed, he pinched the bridge of his nose. “Hyung…”

He acted like it was just an annoying turn of events, but you noticed his ears turning furiously red. You ruffled his hair.

“You’re so cute.”

“Not you too. Don’t call me cute,” he grumbled, looking even more embarrassed. “I’m everything but cute.”

“Aw, why is our kkungie pouting so much?” Minhyuk appeared next to the younger. “And what do you mean you’re not cute? You’re the cutest maknae on this planet!” He kept teasing him.

“Can you all just leave me alone?” Changkyun huffed but after some tickling and apologising he finally mustered a smile.

It was the highlight of your day, really, because soon after that you left them to their practice. It was probably the only moment of a break for them too that day. As the world tour was coming closer, the boys were getting more restless, working even harder than before. You didn’t want to bother them too much so you stayed in your office more.

But as they were training more intensely, it was them who were visiting your office more frequently for a change. At the end of the day you had to take care of their sore muscles with painkillers and cooling and heating patches. Of course they weren’t new to this, they remembered to warm up before practice, but when you overwork yourself, muscles of even the best dancers are bound to get tired. They schedules were also so packed, they didn’t have that much time to rest properly either.

Maybe you were spending less time with them in person, but they showered you with attention by other means. Hoseok kept sending you cute videos of baby animals and sometimes popped his head into your room just to say hi. Hyungwon also visited you, but one look at him when he first dropped by your office and you knew he just needed a calm place to rest.

“We have a thirty minutes’ break,” he stated quietly, shifting from one foot to the other.

“Go ahead.” You pointed at the small couch in the back of the room, saving him the trouble of explaining himself. And he looked very grateful for that. “I’ll wake you up in time.”

He didn’t exactly fit into the piece of furniture but he didn’t seem to mind that detail. Somehow he made himself comfortable and it became something like an unspoken deal between you two that he would come whenever he needed some peace and quiet and you would watch over him and keep track of the time.

Minhyuk opted for video calls in which he talked passionately or just messed with the other members. Sometimes you could even hear his rambling and screaming through the closed doors and you weren’t surprised that Hyungwon looked for a more peaceful spot to nap.

It seemed like Hyunwoo wanted to keep you updated with everyone’s wellbeing so he sent you photos from their practice, occasionally adding a selfie. Jooheon was pleasant to just chat with, conversations with him made you smile widely a lot. And you were thankful that Kihyun didn’t use his cheesy lines while messaging.

But you texted with Changkyun the most. He was sending you practically every meme he stumbled upon on the internet, most of them made you laugh really hard, he was asking if you got home safely, how was your day and if you were okay whenever he noticed you were feeling down. Your conversations didn’t stop at your working hours, it quite often kept you both up late at night and you usually ended up scolding him for not taking care of his sleeping habits.

With the tour approaching, the band’s manager also requested that you do a general check-up on each member and asses their health state. So you informed the boys that within a week you expect them to show up at your office for that purpose.

Hyunwoo, as you predicted, was the first one to meet the request. You welcomed him warmly and started with some general questions about his wellbeing. You were glad he didn’t try to cover up the fact that he’s tired, you felt that he’s trying to be as honest as possible.

Then you went through the physical examination, checking his reflexes first. When you asked him to remove his top, he stood up, took off the shirt… and started dancing. You jaw dropped. Okay, you must admit, his body rolls are amazing and you felt like it was getting hotter in your office, but why the hell was he suddenly dancing. Your brain couldn’t quite comprehend the situation so you just sat there dumbfounded. When he finally (unfortunately) ended his show you still weren’t able to say anything.

“What… was that?” you asked when you finally remembered how to use your voice.

“A dance, I guess?” Shownu scratched the back of his head, embarrassed, and looked away. “I was hoping to um, loosen up the atmosphere.”

The uncertainty in his voice made you raise your brows in question.

“Oookay, that was… refreshing.” You decided not to pry into the matter further, seeing as it was even more embarrassing for him than for you. “Now, um, let’s get back to work.”

Rest of the examination went smoothly, without any more surprises, and after Hyunwoo left you finished filling the papers. Then you made your way for the studio, wanting to ask if anyone else would be coming today. The doors were left slightly open and the conversation you overheard prevented you from stepping in.

“Well, she definitely didn’t run out. What did you do?” You recognized Jooheon’s voice.

“I danced. Shirt off, sexy moves and all.”

“Did she even blush?” This time it was Minhyuk who asked the question.

“A little, yeah. But she looked more confused than anything else.”

“Ha, then you’re totally out.” Kihyun sounded pleased. You furrowed your brows, trying to decipher the whole meaning of their conversation. “And here I thought that Changkyun didn’t stand a chance in the bet. Now you might as well not even try, Kyun.”

The maknae muttered something you didn’t catch, but you didn’t need to hear anything more. You quietly turned around and went back to your office.

Bet? On what? On who can make you most flustered? You couldn’t decide if it was more scandalous or amusing. They really had strange ways to cope with the pre-tour stress.

You snorted. Now you more or less knew what they were up to and you sure as hell weren’t going to give in.

So when Hyungwon showed up, you warned him.

“I swear to god, if you start dancing in the middle of the examination, I’m not responsible for what I do.”

“What? Why would I dance?” You wanted to applaud his acting skills.

“I don’t know, ask Hyunwoo.”

At first you were wary of his actions but as you were almost finishing the examination and still nothing happened you wondered if maybe Hyungwon didn’t agree to participate in the bet. Until you tripped over his long legs which you could’ve sworn weren’t extended just a second earlier. And of course he caught you before you hit the floor. He quickly helped you stand, but didn’t let you go just yet.

“Are you okay?” he asked, looking straight into your eyes and holding your hand. You did blush under his intense gaze, he wasn’t called the visual of the group without a reason. “Are you hurt anywhere?”

Oh no, you’re not going to let them win. You looked away, faking the shyness.

“No, I’m fine.” You lightly squeezed his hand and looked up, biting your lips. “Thank you _so_ much.”

This time he was the one who needed a minute to collect himself. “No need to thank me, I’m glad you’re okay.” He didn’t sound as confident as in the beginning. You just smiled at him, holding back the smirk.

“And that will be all for the check-up, you’re free to go.”

 

*

 

Jooheon opened your doors humming something. After taking a step inside, he suddenly burst into song and asked you for a dance. Not that you had the option to refuse, as he immediately grabbed your hand and pulled you up. He was serenading and dancing so passionately you couldn’t spoil the fun.

“ _One summer night the stars were shining bright…_ ”

You recalled watching a video on youtube with him singing the same song to some Chinese woman. You started laughing and soon enough he joined you, showing his cute dimples. When his performance ended, you were both still smiling.

“Oh my god, what’s gotten into all of you?” you chuckled, knowing the real answer.

“I don’t know what’s gotten into the rest, but I just was in an exceptionally good mood and wanted someone to share the moment with me.”

“I appreciate it, but let’s get down to business, okay? I don’t want to take up too much of your time.”

 

*

 

Minhyuk entered your office cheerfully.

“No dancing, no singing, no funny moves, please,” you stopped his enthusiasm.

“Can I at least get a hug?” He looked at you with puppy eyes.

“Yeah, sure,” you sighed with a half-smile.

When you wanted to start asking him questions, he pulled you to sit next to him on the exam table and then he positioned himself with his head on your lap. You raised your brows in question but decided to ignore the situation when he just grinned cutely at you.

“Minhyukkie, get up, I need to examine you.” He just nuzzled his face into your thighs but didn’t move an inch.

“But it’s so nice,” he whined. “And I’m tired, please, please, let me stay like this for a while.”

Puppy eyes and a pout directed at you. You sighed again.

“Okay, okay.” You rolled your eyes. “Five minutes, not more.”

“That little?”

“Don’t test me.”

He closed his eyes and relaxed his features. He looked so innocent that you smiled at him warmly and brushed aside a stray hair from his forehead.

Few minutes later he opened his eyes and looked directly into yours. And suddenly he wasn’t so innocent anymore. One could forget he was also the visual of the group because of his usual chirpy attitude. And the stare he was giving you at that moment was nowhere near a lighthearted one. You swallowed heavily, unable to utter a word.

“Is it time for my examination, doctor?” he asked in a low voice that gave you goose bumps and your eyes widened slightly. You had to clear your throat before answering.

“Y-yeah.”

You felt his gaze on you throughout the whole procedure. It was definitely intense, but you would even call it rude. The kind of which keeps you in place and makes you feel like the temperature in the room is quickly rising.

It made you blush, yeah, but you firmly stood by your resolution and Minhyuk left your office without fully achieving his goal. You leaned on the door after his exit, pinching the bridge of your nose and thinking that it should be illegal to act like _that_ just to win some silly bet.

 

*

 

You were actually expecting the approach Kihyun took. His cheesiness reached its peak.

“You look so beautiful today, Y/N.” He started with the basics.

“Why, thank you, Kihyunnie. You’re not so bad yourself.” You retorted cheerfully, but that didn’t stop him and soon he tried again.

“Is it hot in here or is that just you?”

“Oh my, maybe you have a fever, let me check.” You put a hand to his forehead, then to his cheek. You did it very gently, trying to shake him up a bit. It worked. But he was a competitive man and wouldn’t let himself be defeated that quickly.

“Did you steal all the glow from the stars? Because your eyes shine so brightly.”

“No, no, it’s probably because I shined the flashlight into your eyes. It’s an afterimage, it’ll pass,” you assured him calmly.

And when you sneezed and he said, “I’d say God bless you, but it looks like he already did,” you had a very hard time holding back the laughter.

“You know, if someone asked me who would I save if my bandmates and you were drowning, I would go for the team. Because I would never let you fall in the first place.”

You actually facepalmed hearing that one.

“Oh my god, where do you take all these text from?” you chuckled. “And did they work on anyone? Like, ever?”

He seemed like he finally gave up on the act and laughed with you. When you were done with everything, you waved for him to go. As he was about to leave, he suddenly turned around, walked up to you and kissed you on the cheek.

“Thanks for putting up with us. And taking care.” He looked at you for a moment and then he was gone.

In comparison to his earlier comments, this action appeared genuine and you felt your cheeks burning. You didn’t know if this was his plan all along or he did it on the spur of the moment, but it worked. This one was close to getting you out of your office to cool down.

 

*

 

Hoseok was also pretty predictable. He was confident in his body so he put his faith in it this time too.

He took off his shirt as soon as he entered your office or more like he almost ripped it off of himself.

“Wait, Hoseok, you don’t have to take it off just yet,” you said, a little panicked.

“Oh? Sorry.” He didn’t look like it at all. “But as I’ve already removed it, there’s no point in putting it on, right? I’d have to do it again in a moment anyway.”

“Y-yeah. Okay, sit here.”

When you were asking him questions, you couldn’t fully focus, as he was sitting there, muscles on full display and bunny smile plastered on his face. He was aware of the effect he had on you and he was so damn smug about it. That got on your nerves and you mentally gave yourself a slap in the face. You were supposed to turn it against them and you’re not gonna fail just because of some pretty face. And pretty body.

Your first idea was to get very touchy during the examination, but that would be plain rude. You didn’t want to make him uncomfortable, you just wanted to get him flustered instead of you.

“Are you eating well? You know that you need to have a balanced diet adjusted to your lifestyle, right?” You decided on a caring approach. It might make him blush, and even if it doesn’t, it won’t hurt to be a bit overprotective.

“Yeah, yeah, I know. Don’t worry, I’m handling it all.”

“Okay, good. And you know you should take care of yourself in general, right? I’ve read you get sick often, so it makes me worry. How are you feeling now? Please, don’t hide anything from me.”

You locked eyes with him. His features softened as he saw your concern.

“I’m fine. Except a little lack of sleep, I’m really fine.”

“Uhm, okay. But just let me double-check that. Open your mouth, let’s see your throat. It’s a little reddened. Doesn’t it hurt? If it does I’ll prescribe you some meds. We can’t have this amazing artist losing his magnificent voice, can we?”

Your plan was working, but you pretty much forgot about it along the way. Wonho turned into this softie Bunny and you were glad you could show him you cared. After all he was always the first one to reprimand you whenever you weren’t positive about yourself.

A few questions and a physical examination later you were saying goodbyes, smiling warmly at each other, both his bet and your resolve forgotten.

 

*

 

There was only Changkyun left. And when he came, you remembered the overheard conversation and what exactly Kihyun told the maknae. At the sight of an evil smile forming on your lips, Changkyun stopped in his tracks.

“Should I come back later or…” he said, approaching you hesitantly.

“Oh, no, no, you don’t need to worry. I was just thinking how to subtly show your hyungs the middle finger.”

“Why is that, if I may ask? And more importantly, what did you come up with?” You liked it that he focused on the essentials.

“First of all, I know about your childish bet. Who can make me run out of my office because of embarrassment? Really?”

He put his hand up defensively. “I’m not the one who came up with the idea.”

“Whatever. I’m more interested in the prize. So, what did you bet on?”

The cat was out of the bag so there was no need for him to keep anything from you anymore. “The winner choses his room in hotels on our tour and the rest will be paying six times for him when we go out.”

“Then I guess you owe me dinner, ‘cause I’m going to make you win.” He looked at you with raised brows but nodded in agreement. “I overheard your conversation and it seems like Kihyun doesn’t believe in your charm. I would say otherwise. Let’s just show him how wrong he is, shall we? But first, the check-up, this is the main reason you’re here after all.”

After the medical examination you sat to discuss the course of action.

“They’re waiting somewhere to see how you did, right?” Changkyun nodded. “Okay. Well, I can storm out of here, no problem, but I need to look flustered, I bet they’ll be watching closely. Do you have any spicy stories to tell? Wait, no, I don’t think that would even work.”

“What did others do that made you feel the most embarrassed?”

“What, they didn’t share?”

“No, just Hyunwoo. Rest kept it to themselves, only telling if they made you blush or not.”

You sighed and said to yourself, “I really can’t believe you decided to use me like that for your entertainment.”

“I’m sorry, for the hyungs too—” he said quickly but you interrupted him, waving your hand.

“Don’t. I decided to play along, retaliated even, but you should remember that karma’s a bitch. I’d advise you to sleep with one eye open.” You smiled maliciously at him and he seemed to pale a little. “Anyway, let’s get to it.”

“You got an idea?”

“Yeah, about your earlier question, Kihyun surprised me with a kiss on the cheek after all his cheesy lines.” Changkyun clenched his jaw. “So I thought about you pretending to kiss me, if it’s not too uncomfortable with you.”

It seemed like he settled for the plan right away as he instantly changed the way he was looking at you. And as you were still speaking, he was slowly getting closer, maintaining the eye contact.

“Just, you know, not the real kiss, just act like you’re about to,” you finished and your breath hitched when his face gotten inches away from yours.

He raised his hand and cupped your cheek. You were so close you felt his shaky breath on your lips. Under his intense, yet at the same time soft gaze your heart skipped a beat, you felt it racing so hard you thought even he could hear it. Maybe it wasn’t your best idea after all, you wondered, suddenly unable to move away, to even think of doing it.

You didn’t know how long you were frozen it that position, but when he closed the small distance between you two, the concept of time ceased to exist for you. His soft lips felt like a feather touch on yours and you forgot how to breathe for a moment. He closed his eyes, but you kept yours wide open in shock. After what seemed like eternity he moved away and brushed his thumb over your cheek, looking at your eyes shyly. But suddenly the realization of what he just did hit him and he froze like a deer in the headlights.

“W-well, that was unexpected,” you whispered, stumbling over your words. If you blushed lightly before, now your whole face was on fire.

You stood up abruptly and went towards the door.

“Maybe it’s better if you don’t tell your friends what happened,” you said over your shoulder just before leaving the room.

You hurriedly made your way for the toilet and when you were passing by the dance studio, you got a glimpse of six surprised faces in the door. Now they can’t question Changkyun’s win. In the restroom you leaned over the sink, trying to calm your racing heart and looked in the mirror. What in the world was that? You traced your fingers over your lips, still feeling that delicate touch. Memory alone made you blush. You splashed your face with cold water and took a deep breath.

Him actually kissing you was not a part of your plan, you thought you worded it clearly, it was supposed to be faking an intention. You weren’t mad at him, just utterly surprised. You couldn’t help but wonder why he did it, replaying the scene in your mind. He did it so shyly and when he moved away you noticed small smile dancing on his lips but then also fear in his eyes. You knew how sensitive he was, so after that kind of bold move it was to be expected that he would have “insecure” written all over his face. And you just stormed out of the room, leaving him practically without a word. You swore under your breath. That wasn’t the nicest thing to do.

You collected yourself and went to the practice room. But you only found Hoseok, Hyunwoo and Hyungwon there.

“Hi guys, where’s the rest?”

“Kihyun and Minhyuk went for the vocal training and Jooheon and Changkyun went to work on some lyrics,” Hyungwon answered your question. “Speaking of. What happened between you and our kkungie?”

“What do you mean?” You decided to play dumb.

“Come on, we saw you earlier, after he went for the check-up. You seemed a little… flustered when you left your office,” Hoseok said with a smirk.

“Changkyun didn’t tell you?”

“Yeah, he did, but we wanted to hear you part of the story too.”

Oh no, you’ve watched too many crime dramas to fall for that trick.

“Sorry, boys.” You shrugged. “I’m not telling ya. Well, nevermind, I don’t want to disturb you, bye.”

And with that you left the room. You wondered what you should do now. Follow the two to their studio? Or leave the matter alone and see what tomorrow brings? You didn’t like having unfinished business, so you opted for reaching him by phone.

_Hey, are you okay?_

You sent him a text and didn’t have to wait long for a reply.

CK: _I should be the one asking that. I’m really really sorry for what happened :(  
_

It didn’t escape your attention that he didn’t answer your question.

CK: _I figured you wouldn’t want to talk to me for a while_

_Kyunnie. It’s okay, I’m not angry at you, I was just really taken aback. Sorry I ran away like that._

CK: _Nono, I’m the only one who has to apologize here! Once again, I’m sorry, I didn’t really think what I was doing. I hope it won’t become awkward between us._

_I hope so too, let’s just pretend nothing happened, okay?_

It took him a little longer to respond this time.

CK: _Okay._

You’ve kind of gotten used to constant texting with him, so when it stopped for the rest of the day, it felt weird, like you were missing something important. But the next day you greeted the group, including Changkyun, just like any other day and it all went back to normal. More or less.

And even if you wanted to talk about it in the following days, you wouldn’t really have a chance. It was too hectic, because the band has finally begun the world tour.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as usual, thanks for the kudos, feel free to leave a comment and if you want hmu on twitter @giddykyun  
> <3


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember how in the beginning I said I’ll try to update regularly? yeah, about that…   
> SHIT HAPPENED, OKAY? Anyway, I am SO sorry for the delay, here it is, finally D:
> 
> On a side note, I haven’t been to their concert, not to mention being backstage, so you know… it’s all made up (duh) XD  
> And to make it as reader-friendly as possible I’m not naming cities or even continents on the tour, think of whatever place you want uwu

 

First two concerts, as their usual, were in Seoul. On the morning of the first one the whole crew was already in place, the band doing the final rehearsing, technicians arranging and installing the equipment and you sitting backstage, checking if you got everything you needed.

When you had a chance to walk around the place, you watched everything in awe.

“So that’s what it looks like from here,” you whispered to yourself as you stood on the side of the stage. You felt a presence beside you.

“Were you ever on that side?” Hyunwoo asked, pointing his head at the audience.

“Yeah, I went to your concert once,” you admitted, smiling shyly. “It was amazing, even though I was quite far away from the stage. You guys bring such an unrivalled energy and it was so much fun I don’t think I’ll ever be able to forget the experience.”

Hearing your praise he smiled so wide that his eyes turned into crescents.

“I’m glad you liked it. We’re always trying our best,” he said, looking fondly at his friends fooling around the stage.

“Yeah, it shows.”

You chatted a bit more, before he was called by the other members. You went backstage and took out your phone to pass the time somehow.

As the time for the concert was drawing near, it became more hectic backstage. Lots of people were running back and forth and you thought that you have never seen half of them before. You were just sitting in the corner of the large room, watching out for any signs of your help being needed.

Stylists were taking care of the boys, making their hair, make up and finally sending them to dress up. When they came back to the room with their stage outfits on, your eyes widened and suddenly you felt your mouth going dry. White shirts with alarmingly low neckline, on top of that black jackets with silver metal elements and crimson seams and ornaments. The red parts shimmered with every move and it made the whole outfit just the more mesmerizing. Black pants looked very tight and you had to mentally scold yourself to stop staring at Hoseok’s thighs. The makeup has done _something_ to their features that they looked… dangerous, sharp and alluring. But the things that were most eye-catching were the accessories – black and red rings and necklaces. Well, not just any necklaces. A black velvet choker with a small crystal, colour corresponding to the crimson accents in their jackets. Combined with the same intense tone on their lips, their whole image was stunning.

Hoseok noticed your dumbfounded stare and smirked. He knew damn well he looked good, to say the least, and was impudent enough to even wink at you.

“Do we look okay?” Hyungwon asked, also amused by your reaction.

You had to pick up your jaw from the floor before you answered.

“ _Okay_?” your voice cracked and you had to clear your throat. “I actually feel sorry for your fans out there, cause after a performance with you looking like that nobody’s gonna be able to sleep peacefully, like… ever again.”

They all chuckled at your answer, Changkyun and Jooheon a little embarrassed, and sat down on nearby sofa and chairs. Your eyes lingered on the youngest a little longer, him with a choker was a rare sight and you suddenly remembered his shy kiss, such a contrast to this bold look. Your mind started to wander to the areas it really shouldn’t and you had to look the other way as if fearing the others might hear your thoughts.

After giving yourself a moment to cool down you walked up to them.

“How are you all feeling?” you asked, sitting on the armrest of the couch.

“Even though we’ve done it so many times, I’m still getting nervous before going up on the stage,” Hoseok sighed, turning his head in different directions and pressing hand to his neck. “And I didn’t get much sleep last night and my neck feels stiff.”

“Stop whining like a baby,” Hyungwon said, rolling his eyes. “We all know you love the attention. And probably all of us didn’t get enough rest last night.”

“Oh, that I won’t believe. You sleep like a dead man, even in this kind of situation,” Hoseok retorted.

“I have feelings too, you know?” Taller man squinted his eyes, offended.

“What, seriously? I didn’t notice.”

That made all of them laugh, Hyungwon made a disgusted face but his eyes flickered with amusement. When everyone calmed down you stood up and approached Hoseok.

“Maybe I can help a little. Just take the jacket off.”

You stood behind him and started massaging his neck and shoulders. You had to use a lot of strength to have any effect on his muscles but after a few minutes you felt them relaxing and you smiled to yourself. At the same time Hoseok leaned into your touch and groaned quietly.

“Oh my god, don’t make those kind of noises.” Kihyun grimaced and smacked his arm.

“But it feels reeeeally nice.”

You smirked at his answer. When you looked up, you met Changkyun’s gaze, his eyes slightly widened. He quickly looked the other way, but you noticed his ears were flushed pink. You had to bite your lips to stop the smile from spreading.

“Okay, that’s enough, I can’t spoil you too much.” You patted Hoseok’s shoulders lightly. He turned around and looked at you with admiration.

“Thank you, you’re really an angel.”

You smiled brightly at him.

“I want a massage too,” Minhyuk pouted, but before you could offer him one, someone from the staff came and announced that the band has to get ready.

“Sorry, Minhyukkie, maybe next time.” You winked at him. “Now go set the stage on fire, Monsta X.”

And they did. Even backstage you heard the fans cheering passionately and it gave you goose bumps. You had seen the band practise their dancing so you could imagine what it looked like, although the outfits must have made it a hundred times better. And adding their live vocals – the performance couldn’t be called anything other than perfect.

When they had a few minutes break to change outfits for something less flashy, you eyed each of them from head to toe before they entered the dressing room, looking for any signs of discomfort or injury. Satisfied with the outcome, you leaned on the wall opposite to the doors and waited for them to finish changing. When they came out, you walked with them towards the stage.

“Is everyone feeling okay? Anyone feeling faint? Did you drink enough water?” you bombarded them with questions.

“Yes, mom, we’re feeling okay and we drank our water,” Jooheon answered jokingly. You huffed.

“Hey, I’m serious!”

“Yeah, yeah, we know.” Hyungwon walking next to you ruffled your hair, smiling widely. “We’re fine, don’t worry.” And they were off again.

After the concert they came backstage tired but with huge smiles on their faces. You once again gave them a look-over and seeing them doing just as fine as earlier you finally relaxed. And just like that the first day was over. You were sure you’ll sleep soundly this night as the stress from your first work of this kind finally went away. You just hoped the boys would get some rest too.

 

***

 

Second concert in Seoul went just as good as the first one. Then the band had a few days of rest before it was time to fly away.

Situation at the airport was something you’ve never imagined before. Of course you had seen some photos of how it looked like whenever idols were flying somewhere, but experiencing it in person was on a whole different level. You felt overwhelmed with the amount of people, girls mostly, gathered in one place. It was noisy, suffocating, there were camera flashes and sounds of shutters everywhere and if not for the members of staff walking next to you, you would have probably turned on your heel and ran away.

“Hey, take it easy, breathe.” Min, your friend from the stylist team, leaned over to you. “I know it must be a little scary, since you’re new to this.” She gestured around vaguely. “But don’t worry, you’re safe. They won’t jump at you, we have bodyguards on our sides and besides, they’re only interested in the band members. You could look at it like that – as long as they’re not harassing them, all those people came here to show their love and support for the group and that’s really nice. Fans are happy, boys feel acknowledged. They’d already gotten used to that, look at them.”

Indeed, seven men walking ahead of you were waving at the crowd around them and you could tell they were smiling, even though they had their masks on, by the way their cheeks went up, squishing their eyes into two thin lines. And after giving fans some attention they went on like there was no one around them, like they were just a group of friends flying on vacation together somewhere, chatting and laughing while in the queue.

After checking in baggage and going through security check it became more peaceful. Despite Min’s talk, your anxiety levels were high during that whole time and only just now you felt like you could breathe normally. There was still some time before boarding so you dropped on the seat opposite to the band members and let your head fall back.

“That bad?” Hoseok struck up a conversation, giving you an understanding look.

“Kind of,” you answered with a tired smile. “I’m really not used to a crowd like that. It was so… overwhelming.”

“I get it. We felt it too at the beginning of our career. We gained some popularity and suddenly when we had to fly somewhere there was this huge gathering of people waiting for us at the airport. It was surprising, a bit intimidating, but above all reassuring and encouraging. Coming to our concerts and fansign events is one thing, but showing support like that is something else. We could see it, our company could see it and there was a little less worry about being disbanded.”

Your chest tightened at the mention of being disbanded and it must have shown on your face because Hoseok flashed you a dazzling smile.

“We’re not at that risk anymore, don’t fret.”

“And about the crowd at the airport,” Hyungwon joined the conversation, “you should mentally prepare yourself for more of that. It’s inevitable in this line of work and now you’re part of it too.”

You hummed in response and noticed Changkyun looking at you. It might have been a little awkward between you two since the kiss but he never stopped caring. He raised his brows like he was asking if you were okay and you nodded with a half-smile. He reached for his phone, scrolled through it for a moment and then you felt your own buzzing. He sent you a link to a song and wrote that it helps him calm his mind, so maybe it would be useful for you too. You couldn’t help but smile genuinely as you looked back at him. Maybe it was just a small action, but it warmed your heart.

After boarding the plane you took your phone to check the schedule. Obviously, you knew where you were headed in that moment but you didn’t bother to read everything in detail earlier. You just saw which continent were you going to visit on what days and that was it. You didn’t have to worry about plane tickets and all, the company took care of that so except this one destination ahead, rest of the tour was the unknown for you.

Checking the cities your eyes stopped at one name. You took a shaky breath with a feeling of dread creeping over you.

Your hometown.

You haven’t been there in years. It would be nice to see what had changed but other than that, you really had no reason to be excited for visiting. Well, it was a large city, so chances of bumping into someone you didn’t want to meet were very low… but there were still _some_. You just prayed for a peaceful stay, without any nasty surprises.

 

***

 

First concert outside Korea, another success for the boys. The next day it was this sort of “day off”, everyone could go shopping, sightseeing, anything really.

You went out with the band and some other members of the staff. Your group walked around the city centre, stopped to buy ice creams and took some photos, which you suspected would go on Twitter later. Kihyun looked exceptionally happy, because he could finally engage in his hobby. It was delightful to watch him look around, carefully take in his surroundings and assess the scene most worth memorizing. You haven’t seen this side of him yet so you were also fascinated by his pure enthusiasm. You were a little less pleased when you caught him taking a photo of you too, but he just flashed you a radiant smile and you bit your tongue. ~~~~

You were glad to be able to talk in English, even if it was just ordering food or making small talk with locals, because you felt it might be getting rusty. Of course you read or watched a lot of things on the internet in that language, talked with some of your old friends and sometimes even with Changkyun in English, but it was all written, your real-life conversation skills weren’t being practiced. It’s not like you could ever forget the language but still, it was nice to communicate with people in your mother tongue.

You were pleasantly surprised to see some people recognizing the idols on the streets, but keeping their distance and actually respecting their privacy. They settled for friendly greeting the band members, telling them something nice or just smiling at them. After what was happening on their previous tours you were really glad this time it turned out to be better.

Until the next city. On their free day the band decided to go to the shopping centre. You had that in mind too, but you set out a little later than them. There was something disturbing going on on social media but you couldn’t investigate further if you wanted to make it to the shops within the given time. Soon after you entered the mall, you saw Changkyun and Kihyun in the distance. You wanted to wave at them, but then took note of how tense they looked and in a second you knew something was off. You looked around and noticed a girl walking some distance behind them. When they stopped in front of a display window, she sat on a bench nearby and you clearly saw a phone in her hand. A phone that was directed toward the two men. And when they passed her she stood up and shamelessly followed them.

Oh hell no, no one’s gonna act like that again, not on your watch.

You quickly walked up to the girl and tapped her shoulder. You didn’t even feel guilty at the fact that it scared her and she almost dropped her phone.

“What?” she snapped at you when she finally got a hold of herself. She quickly turned the camera off and tried to hide it from you.

“Stop what you’re doing or I’ll call the security,” you managed to say it calmly, despite the rage burning inside of you.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she huffed.

“I’m sure you do. That’s called stalking and it can get you a free ticket to the court room. Would you like that?”

“Leave me alone, I’m not hurting anyone, I’m not doing anything bad.” She stubbornly stood her ground.

“Did it slip your attention how uncomfortable they looked? And what you’re doing it’s invading someone’s privacy, if you think that’s not bad maybe you should fix your moral compass. But I guess it’s not getting through to you.” You leaned closer and whispered into her ear. “Leave them alone this instant, I’m done playing nice.”

You were told many times that you can pull a really scary face if you wanted and just now you used that “talent”. Your icy smile and a vicious spark in the eyes could make anyone’s blood run cold. The girl’s breath hitched and she paled visibly when you moved away.

“Exit’s that way.” You pointed her in the right direction. “I hope I won’t see you anywhere near them anytime soon. Are we clear?”

Girl nodded rapidly and stumbled trying to get away from you as fast as possible. You watched her until she actually left the shopping centre and then you sighed heavily, letting your face relax. When you looked around you saw Jooheon approaching you.

He grinned at you. “I’ve never seen anyone leaving the mall so fast. What did you tell her?”

“Oh, that’ll be my little secret.”

“You didn’t threaten her, did you?” he asked suddenly worried. “That might get you in trouble if she ever files a complaint against you to the company.”

“My face hasn’t been shown anywhere, so she has no idea that I work with you. And if it ever gets out that I’m your physician, I’m wearing this cap to hide my features at least a little bit, so maybe she won’t even recognize me.” You flashed him a reassuring smile. “Don’t worry.”

“About what?” Unexpected question from right behind you made you jump.

“Would you _stop_ doing that?!” you hissed at Kihyun who stood there with a smug expression.

“So, he shouldn’t worry about what?” he completely ignored your words.

“She successfully chased away that stalker girl that was following us all around the mall.” Jooheon answered instead of you. “And I was just worrying about her means of doing that.”

“You didn’t smash her phone, did you?” Changkyun looked awed.

“No, of course not. Who do you think I am?” you huffed. “Something like that could get even the most ordinary person in trouble. Maybe I’m not an idol, but I work with you and I also have some standards to uphold.”

Kihyun dramatically grabbed at his chest with one hand and put the other on Changkyun’s shoulder.

“She thinks better of herself. This is the day we’ve been waiting for, take a note, Changkyunnie. For the future generations. This is it, this is the moment. And we need to tell Hoseok hyung, he’ll be so proud.”

“Oh my god, you’re such an ass.” You smacked Kihyun’s arm, but couldn’t stop the smile spreading on your lips. “And you kinda missed the point.”

“I know, I know,” he chuckled. “You’re a smart girl, you know what you’re doing. And actually thanks for driving her away.”

“Yeah, ‘cause we can’t really do anything in this kind of situation,” Jooheon added. “Like you said, we have some standards to uphold and can’t say anything or act rude towards our fans.”

“No matter how they act,” you finished quietly and he shrugged.

“Well, let’s not dwell on that. We’re here to enjoy ourselves, let’s go.” The oldest urged you all to move and change the topic.

While walking through the shops, you stumbled upon the rest of the band and you saw each member sigh with relief at the news of the stalker being chased away. As the group got bigger, you silently moved to the back. You did feel comfortable with all of them but you were feeling self-conscious at that moment, in that kind of place. Co-worker or not, you were the only woman in their company, no other members of staff to blend in with and if there was anyone who captured that and shared it on the net, fans would go wild. Maybe you were overthinking and even if something like that happened, there would be people wise enough to not make any assumptions, but you were on social media long enough to know that not everyone used that reasonable approach.

But you weren’t alone for long. Soon Changkyun slowed his pace to match with yours. He didn’t initiate the conversation, he just walked silently beside you and you didn’t mind that. However when your group stopped, cause one of the boys saw a thing he needed to check out, he stepped closer and looked like he was about to say something.

“Hey—” he started and raised his hand towards your shoulder.

“Don’t,” you hissed, cutting him off midsentence and smacking his hand.

You quickly looked around to check if anyone noticed but when your gaze fell upon Changkyun, you immediately regretted your harsh reaction. He wasn’t fast enough to hide the look of hurt in his eyes and his whole posture sunk. The nickname “puppy” fitted him perfectly and now he looked like a kicked one.

“Oh my god, Kyunnie, I’m sorry. I– I overreacted.” You sighed and closed your eyes. After a pause you looked up. “I’m just so stressed about your fans’ response. Even though I know that Monbebes are mostly very sweet and kind, I just can’t stop thinking about that small percent that will cause you trouble if they see me.”

“Could you _please_ stop worrying about that?” Changkyun furrowed his brows. “We’ll deal with anything when it comes to that. Or rather, _if_ it ever comes to that.”

“I don’t think that’s the wisest approach,” you said hesitantly.

“Do we always have to do only the wise things?” The way he intensely stared into your eyes sent a shiver down your spine. Suddenly you weren’t sure if he’s talking only about the situation that just happened. “Let yourself enjoy life, do wild things sometimes. Don’t only focus on the public opinion, it’s not healthy.”

You got lost in his gaze. You felt conflicted inside, part of you wanted to keep your distance, always be on guard and play safe, but other part considered trusting Changkyun’s words. Finally you looked away and bit your lip.

“Maybe… maybe you’re right.” You risked a glance at him and saw a small smile playing on his lips. “I’m not saying my worries will disappear just like that, also someone needs to be the responsible one here since you have such a carefree attitude. But I will try to be more chill about all this stuff. It just might take some time, so be patient with me, okay?”

He looked contented with your answer.

“And I’m really sorry I pushed you away like that.”

“Will you freak out if I pat you on the head now?” he asked in a whisper and your eyes widened. But you wanted to at least try to follow you earlier words so you shook your head. He stepped closer and raised his hand. You averted your eyes because you felt your face heating up even before he did anything. And when he finally patted your head, you immediately got goose bumps and your breath hitched.

“See, that wasn’t so bad, was it?” he said with a warm smile and you nodded, still too flustered to look him in the eyes.

“What are you guys doing?” Minhyuk’s sudden question made you jump.

“We leave you two alone for a few minutes and you’re getting that bold? In public?” Kihyun said in a teasing tone. You wanted to protest but Changkyun beat you to speaking.

“Hyung, stop it. She actually got worried about the very topic, I was just reassuring her.”

“Oh.” He sent you an apologetic look. “Sorry.”

You waved your hand. Soon rest of the band joined you, their loud and excited voices drowned out your galloping thoughts and you went back to the hotel with them, this time taking part in the conversations going on. Before going to your rooms Changkyun patted you on the head again. You stared at him surprised but didn’t move away. He winked before disappearing into his room and you just stood there dumbfounded until your roommate passed by and pulled you out of your daze.

The kid was getting braver, you thought. And as much as you didn’t want to admit it, you kind of liked the attention you were getting.

 

***

 

The tour was going smoothly, you were glad that your help was needed only for small bruises or cuts, so far nothing serious has happened. In the meantime the band with the whole crew celebrated Hyunwoo’s birthday. Band members posted cute, funny and heart-warming messages on twitter and you with the rest of the staff prepared a surprise mini-party for him. With cake, candles and lots of cheering. It was so adorable how wide he smiled and how moved he was by all that.

But that happy atmosphere didn’t last too long. At one concert Changkyun tripped on stage and you held your breath watching it on the screen backstage. It happened near the end of the concert but they still had two more songs to perform. You expected him to withdraw from the performance but he just gritted his teeth and didn’t let it show. But you noticed how he was trying to put less weight on his right leg, how he stopped jumping that enthusiastically all over the stage and whenever he wasn’t in the centre of the choreography he restricted his movements to the bare minimum. When you saw what was going on, you practically ran to the entrance to the stage and caught other member of the staff.

“Changkyun’s hurt, he needs to get off the stage,” you demanded. The man also looked worried but shook his head.

“He has to endure it. They’re not leaving the stage between this and the last song, there’s not much left, he can handle it. And Changkyun himself wouldn’t let us drag him out of there, he’s too stubborn for his own good.”

You clenched your fists but didn’t argue with him. You remembered the conversation in the company from some time ago when I.M’s senior warned you to look out for the boy, because he had a tendency to hide the fact that he’s hurting. And most of the staff worked with the band much much longer than you, they also knew the members better so you didn’t doubt the man’s words. There was nothing you could do at that moment, you just paced nervously back and forth, waiting for the concert to end.

It was just one song and goodbyes, but for you it felt like eternity. When the members finally walked out of the crowd’s view, you saw Changkyun almost collapsing on the spot. Luckily, Hoseok was right next to him and caught him midway. He looked at the youngest extremely worried, just like the rest of the team.

Hyunwoo spotted you at the end of the stairs and whispered something to Hoseok. Your eyes met and you motioned for him to get the maknae down. He didn’t need to think long, he just lifted him up bridal style. Changkyun tried to protest but was bound to lose to the stronger friend.

“Get him on the sofa there,” you instructed as you walked in to the dressing room and went for the ice packs. Going back you also grabbed a towel and wrapped the ice in it. “Chankgyun, take off your shoe and sock and sit across the sofa.”

You tuned out the background, ignoring all the people that gathered around, and focused solely on the man before you. You watched his face closely as he fulfilled your request. He really tried to hold back any reaction, but the grimace showed on his features when he pulled his shoe off too hastily. When he was done, you sat next to him and observed the swelling around his ankle.

“First I need you to tell me where does it hurt exactly.”

“It doesn’t really…” he started quietly but when you raised you brows, clearly unamused, he got the message that it’s not going to work on you. So he pointed at one place. “Here.”

You gently put your hand on his foot.

“Now I’m going to press around it and then move your foot a little, okay?” You waited for his nod. “I’m sorry, I’m sure it hurts in general, but tell me when it’ll hurt the most.”

You did what you announced, first palpation, then checking the range of motion. His ankle was quite swollen so it couldn’t be moved too much but the smallest movements gave you the answers you needed anyway. As expected, Changkyun didn’t utter a word, but you kept an eye on his facial expression again and noted when he frowned even a little.

“Luckily, no broken bones, as I thought, it’s just sprained. For now, hold the ice over it.” You handed him the towel with the icepack. “For twenty minutes. And you’re not moving anywhere.”

“But I need to change,” he protested, trying to get up. You stopped him by putting your hand on his chest.

“No, you don’t. Either you sit nicely or I’ll get one of your friends to hold you down. Hyunwoo or Hoseok will gladly help,” you turned your head to look at them, “won’t you, guys?”

They both nodded enthusiastically. Changkyun huffed but gave up his protests.

“Can someone bring me my medical box from the other room?”

Kihyun moved to fetch it but a girl from the staff beat him to it. While waiting you moved to the end of the sofa and ordered Changkyun to lie down. You took the icepack from his hand, grabbed a nearby cushion and put his foot on it and then on your thighs.

“You should keep it higher for now, above the level of your heart.” Soon the girl brought you your kit, you thanked her and pulled out the bandages and meds. “Painkillers, here, take it. I’ll hold the ice for a little longer but then I need to immobilize your ankle so you won’t worsen the sprain later. You went without any treatment long enough during your concert. You’re lucky the ligaments aren’t completely torn.”

In the moment of silence you felt the others’ eyes on you. You were surprised that no one has yet made any noise, posed any questions or something like that. The band was abnormally quiet.

“You guys can go change and prepare for leaving, I can handle the situation here,” you said, tapping  Changkyun’s shin lightly and looking up. You were met with concerned expressions and you sent the group a reassuring smile. Hyunwoo scanned maknae’s face, then moved his gaze to you and nodded after a second. When he walked away, rest of the members followed.

“Is it bad?” The question was so quiet that it took you a moment to even register it. You turned your head and saw Changkyun staring intensely at his ankle with an unreadable expression.

“It’s worse than it should be because you couldn’t stop performing after your fall but it’s not _that_ bad. As I told you earlier, nothing’s broken or fully torn, so it’s nothing that a good rest won’t heal.” He locked eyes with you and you could’ve sworn you saw a flash of fear in his.

“Will he be able to perform in three days?” You haven’t noticed when the band’s manager came closer.

“Rap? Of course. But dance? No way.” You were looking at the manager but in the corner of your eye you saw Changkyun clenching his fists.

“Are you sure about that?” When you nodded, he sighed deeply. “Then we’ll have to make an announcement. We were going to do that anyway, cause at the airport fans would definitely spot Changkyun limping, but now we’ll have to add an apology.”

It got on your nerves that he put it that way like the maknae’s did something wrong.

“It’s not his fault that the ankle got sprained,” you reminded the manager, glaring at him. He didn’t notice that as he was already doing something on the phone.

“Of course it isn’t.” He looked up for a second. “I’m sorry if it sounded that way. Changkyun, don’t worry, we’ll take care of everything, you just focus on getting better.” And he left. His words didn’t exactly set you at rest, but you couldn’t really do much about it.

When you applied the icepack long enough, it was time to put on the bandage. You stood up and got to work. You heard other band members moving around but focused on the task before you. When you finished, you took your previous spot on the sofa, positioning Changkyun’s foot on the cushion and back on your lap.

You didn’t have a chance to talk to the youngest, because the members approached you and showered him with affection to the point his ears gotten furiously pink and he was trying to drive them away.

“We’ve got his stuff and we’re basically ready to go,” Hyunwoo walked up to you. “We’ll watch over him, you go grab your things.” You nodded and left the group.

“I don’t want him to overstrain his leg, so could any of you carry him to the car?” you asked as you came back.

“I can walk!” Changkyun tried to protest again. You had to take a deep breath before you turned to him.

“Yeah, on one leg.” You squinted your eyes at him. “And what? You intend to hop your way to the car? Or do you prefer rolling through the whole building? Or maybe crawl? Oh, I wanna see you try.”

Kihyun made a face trying to hold back the laugh. The band was amused but you were engaged in a serious staring contest with the maknae. Finally he looked away. Satisfied, you turned to the members, asking for a volunteer to carry him. Jooheon was the fastest to come forward.

He piggy-backed his friend to the car and then from the car right to their room. You followed them there. Changkyun was even quieter than usual through the whole journey.

“Kyun, please, _please_ don’t move around unless you absolutely have to,” you asked as Jooheon placed him down on the bed and you sat beside him. “Do not walk on this leg and– ”

“It’s not my first sprain, I know what to do!” he snapped.

“Hey, Changkyun, watch it!” Jooheon walked up to you with furrowed brows. You put your hand up.

“It’s okay. Maybe you could leave us for a moment?” He looked back and forth between you two and finally nodded.

“I’ll check what the others are doing.”

When he left you shifted your gaze back to Changkyun. He lied on the bed with his back turned to you, he had his arms crossed and was looking straight ahead.

“Changkyun.” He didn’t react. “Kyunnie, what’s going on?”

When he still didn’t show any intention to talk, you boldly climbed on the bed and sat next to him the way that your side touched his back. He tensed for a second but as you just sat there, he gradually relaxed. After a moment you started caressing his arm.

“You’re that worried about next performances, right?” you asked quietly. “I don’t know what’s going through your head right now but you definitely shouldn’t blame yourself. Accidents happen. Your friends know that, your company knows that and your fans know that too. No one’s going to scold you.”

Finally he turned to face you and you took note of his watery eyes and furrowed brows.

“But I’m so fucking clumsy! We trip bazillion times but it just _had to_ be me who hurt himself. No one will scold me but maybe that would have been better. Because of me the company has to rearrange some things and apologize, let’s just pray no one will file a complaint or demand a refund for their ticket when the performance will be changed. And the very performance, I don’t even want to think how problematic it will be. If I can’t dance, then what? I’ll be sitting through the show? I won’t go out on the stage at all?! The whole choreography can go to hell. Hyungs will have to cover for my parts and probably rearrange the dance and– ” He stopped midsentence like he had to catch his breath. He looked up at you and suddenly got embarrassed by his outburst so he hid his face in your side. You put your arm around him and petted his head with the other hand.

“Kyunnie, puppy, everything’s going to be fine. I’ll say it once again. Accidents. Happen. There’s always a room for something unexpected and I’m sure the company can handle the situation. There’s no need for you to worry about that. And your bandmates, you’re not new in the industry, they will be fine too. You need to rest, not focus on every dark scenario playing through your head.” You hugged him a little tighter. “And who was the one that told me not to worry about public opinion and fans not so long ago?”

“But not when my mistake affects the whole group,” he mumbled, face still hidden.

“At this point anything any of you does would affect the whole group, but that doesn’t mean the group will reject you, especially not for something like what happened. You’re more like a family than just friends, they love you and I’m sure your well-being is more important for them than the public opinion.”

Changkyun didn’t say anything but he put his arm around you and snuggled up closer. Your lips curled up into a fond smile at the sight and you kept stroking his hair.

After some time you felt his grip loosening and you figured he fell asleep. Your hand got tired from petting his head, so you stopped doing it but you didn’t dare to move just yet in fear of waking Changkyun up. You rested your head on the headboard and closed your eyes, feeling the tiredness from the day finally hitting you.

You didn’t plan to doze off but at some point you actually did. Only much later a not too loud thud followed by a curse pulled you out from your dream. You blinked rapidly, looking around the dark room confused and finally focused on Jooheon walking out of the bathroom.

“Oh damn, did I wake you up?” he whispered. You nodded sleepily. “I’m sorry, you looked so cute I didn’t want to interrupt, but well, shit happens, I guess.”

You looked down and saw Changkyun still cuddled up to you and felt your cheeks heating up. You hoped the only light in the room now coming from the bathroom didn’t reach your face.

“It’s not– We didn’t–” Your brain was still in a haze and Jooheon seemed very amused by your efforts to compose a logical sentence. “He fell asleep on me and I didn’t have the heart to move,” you finally managed.

“I’m not saying anything.” He put his arms up defensively.

“Anyway, I should go now, I’m taking away your precious minutes of sleep.”

You tried to free yourself from Changkyun’s embrace as delicately as possible. When you moved away, he frowned a little and mumbled something but didn’t wake up. Jooheon watched you with a smirk and you insistently avoided the eye contact. Stopping in front of the doors you just turned slightly.

“Can you… keep an eye on him tomorrow so he doesn’t strain his leg?” He hummed in response. “I’ll bring him the painkillers when we see each other in the morning. So, umm… Goodnight.”

“Goodnight.”


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for the long wait :C and I can't really say it won't happen again ㅠㅠ
> 
> Trigger warning for this chapter, family issues again!

 

 

“Sit you pretty ass down. If your band members don’t want to baby you, I’ll do it.”

The mumbling sounded like “unfortunately they do”, then he protested more clearly: “But–”

“No buts. Take your meds and sit down while I’m still asking nicely.”

Changkyun looked at you offended and still didn’t do what you asked. Instead he seemed like he was assessing something.

“You couldn’t have been acting like that towards the patients in the hospital,” he started, squinting his eyes.

“Act like what?”

“So bossy and rude.”

You gasped. “You’ve got the nerve, kid. I am like that because nothing else seems to work on you. In the hospital I didn’t have to be _bossy_ cause the patients knew that I’m in charge of their treatment and they should listen to me. Well, usually, at least. You’re not used to having me around, or rather to me doing my actual job here, so I need to be a little harsher to get my point across. If you were a good boy from the start, I would’ve been nicer too, but here we are,” you finished, crossing your arms.

Your speech worked, as he finally sat down, avoiding your gaze. Tips of his ears turned pink and you briefly thought that maybe asking him to be a good boy for you wasn’t the best choice of words.

“I’m so happy we have you on board,” Kihyun said with a grin, coming up to ruffle Changkyun’s hair. “Maybe you’ll be able to knock some sense into his head. He can be really stubborn sometimes.”

“So I’ve heard.”

“Can you please stop talking like I’m not here?” He looked up at you two with a cute pout. You chuckled.

“Sure, Kyunnie, sorry. Now eat something and take your meds. Or do you need me to feed you too?”

Jooheon sitting nearby choked on his food. After a coughing fit he scrambled to his feet and left quickly, mumbling something about him being “too pure for this”. Kihyun tried to hold back his laugh and you wanted to facepalm yourself for coming out with yet another brilliant remark. And it was only morning. This day is going to be great, you thought.

Rest of the breakfast passed in awkward silence until Hoseok showed up, dragging very sleepy Hyungwon with him. You couldn’t help but giggle at the lean man almost sleepwalking and his friend smoothly guiding him like it was something common for them. When they sat next to you, Hoseok struck up a conversation.

“We’re going out to the city soon, are you coming with us?”

Some part of you wanted to go, but you glanced at Changkyun who pretended to be busy with food and you shook your head.

“This time I’ll pass. I’ll keep Changkyun company.” You smiled at him when he lifted his head, looking at you surprised.

“You don’t have to…” he started hesitantly, but you saw the spark of hope in his eyes.

“But I want to,” you shrugged. Then you turned back to Hoseok. “You’ll bring him something nice from the city, right?”

“Of course!” Hoseok answered with a bunny smile. “I thought of staying behind myself but if you already decided on that, I won’t disturb you two.” And he winked.

“Hyung!” Chankgyun whined. You refrained from comment, chewing on your cheek and glaring at Hoseok, who looked extremely smug.

When Hyungwon became more awake thanks to the coffee he was sipping, he smacked the elder on the arm.

“Sometimes I wonder who’s really the maknae of this group,” he sighed and turned to you and Changkyun. “If you think of something specific you want, just give us a call, we’ll buy it for you. And we better get going or they’ll leave us behind. Come on, you musclebrain.”

This time it was Hyungwon who pulled Hoseok with him.

When you decided to go back to your room, you realised there was a little problem you had to care of. You forbid Changkyun to walk on the injured leg, but there was no one around to carry him back upstairs. He must have realised the same thing as he slowly stood up and put the weight on his healthy foot.

“I really can walk by myself. The lifts aren’t too far away, it’s no big deal.”

“Obviously I can’t carry you there but at least lean on me.” He opened his mouth to say something but you beat him to it. “It’s not up for discussion.”

“But you’re–” he stopped midsentence.

“I’m what?” You quirked an eyebrow. “Small? Weak? I’d like to remind you that in the hospital there are no extra helpers by every patient’s side. If someone can’t walk or is unconscious we have to take care of them ourselves, sometimes with the nurses’ help. So don’t worry, I can handle your weight.”

He still didn’t look convinced and put his arm around your neck cautiously. You firmly grabbed his side and started walking carefully. As soon as he took a step with his injured foot, he hissed and put his weight on you. You wavered from the sudden change but recovered quickly, providing him a stable support.

“See? I won’t break.” He nodded slowly and you moved towards the elevators.

When you reached your floor, you were welcomed by the sight of Hyunwoo right in front of the lift’s door.

“Ah, I was about to go down. Boys realised they left you by yourself so I was going to help, but I see you managed.”

“Hyung, you shouldn’t underestimate her,” Changkyun glanced at you, lips curling into an amused smile.

“Okay, noted. But still, I’ll take it from here, if you let me.”

You nodded and exchanged places with him. It looked funny, because Hyunwoo was much taller than Changkyun and when the maknae put an arm around his neck the elder practically lifted him up by his side and carried like that to his room. He put him down in front of the doors and patted his back. The door opened and Jooheon came out and soon the others joined them, prepared for leaving. Minhyuk approached the youngest and threw an arm around him.

“Be good while we’re gone,” he said cheerfully. “We’ll take some nice photos to show you when we come back. And later Kihyunnie will probably photoshop our kkungie into any group pics we’ll take.”

He giggled and let go of him, then waved at both of you as they went towards the elevators.

You sighed when the whole place quieted down and turned around to find Changkyun staring at you. You caught him off guard and he immediately averted his gaze. He hastily pulled the magnetic key out of his jeans’ pocket and when the doors opened you held it for him and he actually jumped on one leg to his bed.

“You don’t have to sit here with me,” he said quietly when you followed and sat on Jooheon’s bed, facing him. “Some members of the staff also stayed, you could hang out with them.”

“I’d much rather stay with you, you’re more interesting company. And because of all the commotion with the world tour I’m not really spending that much time with you guys. I know we’re practically together everywhere but it’s not the same quality time as back in Korea.” You smiled apologetically and shook your head. “Gosh, I sound so greedy, I’m sorry. I just get attached really easily and I’m usually very cautious about it, but you guys made me feel like home. Like I have a place I belong to and I just–” You took a shaky breath. “Thanks.”

Changkyun kneeled on the bed and stretched out his arms.

“As my physician forbid me to move too much, it’s you who has to move,” he said with a smirk but also with a soft look in his eyes. “Come here.”

You didn’t hesitate for long and stepped into his embrace. You buried your head in the crook of his neck and held back the tears. You were _not_ going to cry because of your sudden confession, you thought. Changkyun stroked over your back lightly.

“I’m really happy we make you feel that way,” he murmured. “We are one big family within the band but we also try to have the best possible relationship with all the people we work with, so we all feel good in each other’s company. Your job is of a different kind, I would say you’re a little special, because you constantly keep watch over us. Like our guardian angel. And also you could have stayed in your office, only send for us for check-ups once in a while, but you didn’t, you decided to spend more time by our side. We opened up to you, you opened up to us, we’re all thankful for your commitment, so I’m seriously glad you feel that way.”

“Oh my god,” you whispered, feeling your throat tightening. You held Changkyun a little tighter and tried to calm yourself by inhaling and exhaling slowly. His scent was calming you again. Finally you leaned back a little and looked at him with still a little teary eyes. “How is it possible that at one moment you’re acting like a stubborn brat and the next you’re saying deep things like that?”

“The duality of a man,” he sighed dramatically, smile playing in the corners of his lips.

He let you go and fell back on the bed, but still watching out for his ankle. Then he patted the spot next to him.

“So, if you’re staying, you might as well stay close.”

You took up his offer and sat beside him, your arms brushing. You got lost in thoughts about Changkyun. It really was a duality, you assumed he let himself act all bratty and pouty when he was surrounded by people who cared about him and who he felt comfortable with, but as soon as someone needed a comforting presence, he was there for them, a pillar of strength. The same thing with his shyness. He was showing his soft side quite often, but if the situation called for that, he could put his insecurities aside and focus on whatever needed his attention. You smiled to yourself. You were glad you get to see all of his sides.

“What are you thinking so hard about that there’s steam coming out of your ears?” He nudged you. You chuckled.

“You, actually.” He raised an eyebrow. “You’re really selfless, aren’t you, Kyunnie?” You patted him on the head. “You’re a good younger brother to your hyungs, they should be grateful for having a maknae like you. I hope they show you that.”

“They do.” He smiled fondly. “I would even say that it can be too much, sometimes they treat me more like their child rather than a brother… but I can’t say I’m complaining, who doesn’t like some spoiling from time to time? But on the other hand I get the feeling that they still sometimes go back to our predebut times, to the program and feel guilty all over again. It’s in the past, we’re over that already, we talked it through, resolved every issue, it’s all good now. They should feel that way too, but I’m not sure they always do.” A sigh escaped his lips. “And there’s also the fact that I’m the youngest, so I’m really like a little brother, either a reminder of the one they left at home or a one they never had.”

“Hyunwoo went from being an only child to suddenly gaining six younger brothers, that must have been a shock,” you laughed and Changkyun accompanied you.

“I’m pretty sure it was meant to turn out like that. He’s perfect for the role, and sometimes more like a dad than the oldest brother.”

You spent some time just sitting and chatting until Changkyun’s phone rang. It was a video call.

“Changkyunnie, how are you doing? Do you miss your hyungs?” The face was definitely too close to the screen.

“Hi, Minhyukkie,” you moved closer to Changkyun to be visible for the caller.

“Oh, Y/N, you’re there too, great!” he exclaimed happily. “We wanted to show you something!”

Suddenly there was a lot of shuffling and screaming in the background, the screen became blurry. When it calmed down a bit, it seemed like each member of the band wanted to appear in the frame.

Chankgyun watched it with amused expression. He turned his head slightly towards you and whispered, “See, this is what I was talking about. They’re crazy.”

“What are you whispering about?” Kihyun took over the phone at that moment.

“Nothing you need to know about,” you answered, showing him your tongue.

“You’re getting on too well,” he made a disgusted face and you laughed. Hyunwoo grabbed the phone next.

“Just don’t give away too much, Changkyun-ah.” He winked and smiled cutely. “Anyway, look how pretty it is...”

He moved the camera to show their surroundings and you only had a few seconds to admire the view before the group was all over the phone again. You were giggling the whole time they were trying to beat each other to talking, excitedly telling you and Changkyun where they went, what they did and saw. After what felt like hours, but couldn’t be more than half an hour, you said goodbyes and hung up. You locked eyes with the maknae.

“Well, they sure are a handful,” you commented with a grin and he nodded, chuckling.

After a moment Changkyun sighed and mumbled “Ah, it’s a pity I couldn’t go with them. We stay a lot in the dorms and I like those moments on the tour where we can explore the cities.”

“So, I’m sitting here with you and you wish to be somewhere else, huh? Watch out or I might feel offended,” you warned him playfully. His eyes widened a little.

“Oh shit. No! No, that’s not what I meant. I– ”

You burst out laughing seeing his panicked expression. “Kyunnie, chill, I know. I was joking.” You ruffled his hair and he scrunched his nose in pretended disgust.

“Okay, but jokes aside, don’t you wanna work a little? It’ll still be some time before they come back. I’ll go grab a book to not disturb you anymore.”

When you got up to leave you heard the hesitant question. “But you’ll be back? Or…”

 “Of course, I promised to keep you company, didn’t I?” You smiled reassuringly before leaving the room.

When you came back Changkyun was hopping around, arranging his workspace on the table in front of the sofa. You weren’t too happy about him moving around like that but he seemed to be really careful so you didn’t comment on it. Instead you asked if you could use his bed and he just nodded. So you lied down and opened the book at where you left off. You heard some rustling, then clicks of the mouse and keyboard but as you focused more on the plot of the novel, it all became just a nice background noise.

But after some time you realised the sudden lack of these sounds and peeked behind the book. You found Changkyun sitting on the sofa and looking at you absentmindedly with an unreadable expression. Your skin tingled as you wondered how long has his attention been on you. He finally snapped back to reality and noticed you looking at him questioningly. He cleared his throat and moved his gaze to the computer screen quickly, clearly abashed. You opened your mouth to ask what was that all about but he tried very hard to look busy, so you just shook your head and let it go.

You didn’t even finish the chapter when you heard Changkyun clearing his throat once again, this time to get your attention.

“Y/N, would you… would you mind helping me with this?” he asked, shy smile gracing his lips.

You put the book away and stood up enthusiastically. “What is it?”

“I have this piece I’ve been working on, but I feel like something’s missing, just can’t pinpoint what. I was hoping maybe you could help.”

“I don’t know much about composing songs but sure, I can take a look.”

You sat next to Changkyun on the sofa and he put his headphones on your head. He clicked something in his program a few times and soon you heard the music. You closed your eyes to focus better. Through the whole time you felt Changkyun’s gaze on you. When the piece ended and you opened your eyes, he was indeed watching your face intensely, waiting for your reaction.

“It’s beautiful,” you said quietly, smiling warmly at him. He beamed up upon hearing that. “After the first listen I’d say it’s perfect, no need to change anything, but let me hear it again.”

He nodded and turned it on. When music stopped, you furrowed your brows and tentatively asked about one part that might, just _might_ , be lacking something a little. Changkyun looked pleased as it was the same part he was thinking about. And thus you started talking about it, he was explaining how it all worked, how did he create the piece and you were adding some ideas whenever you felt brave enough to speak about a topic you practically knew nothing about.

Your music production lesson was interrupted by loud chatting from the corridor, beep of the card reader and suddenly the door bursting open. Minhyuk jumped into the room and looked around with sparkling eyes but when he spotted you two sitting in front of Changkyun’s laptop, his enthusiasm vanished.

“Oh, you’re just there… working.” He sounded disappointed.

“What else did you expect?” you asked, eyeing him suspiciously.

He opened his mouth to answer but changed his mind halfway. He coughed to cover it up. “Oh, nothing really. So, how did you manage without the most brilliant member of the group? Did you miss the sunshine personified?”

“What do you mean? Changkyun was with me for the whole time.”

Hoseok who just walked in started laughing so hard he ended on the floor. Minhyuk just stood in the middle of the room with the most scandalised expression you’ve seen on him. Keeping a straight face at that moment was a very hard task to perform.

“You spend too much time with Kihyun, his attitude is showing.” Minhyuk curved his lips downwards in disgust.

“Someone’s talking about me?” Kihyun showed up in the room. Minhyuk turned around and squinted his eyes at him. “What?”

Hoseok finally collected himself from the floor, wiping his tears from laughing too much, only to start giggling again. You couldn’t hold back any longer and you accompanied him. You glanced at Changkyun and even though he had a slight blush on his cheeks, he also snickered.

 

***

 

“It’s gonna be fine. Your voice is amazing, fans will be grateful for that alone, you don’t need to overexert yourself with dancing.”

Changkyun was fidgeting on his chair on the platform that was supposed to go up to the stage soon. It seemed like the whole going through the airport the other day didn’t stress him that much as the concert.

“You really think so?” he asked quietly.

“What? That the fans will enjoy the concert even if you’ll sitting? Yeah, I’m pretty sure.”

“No, about…” he hesitated, biting his lip, “about my voice.”

“Oh, that. Yeah, I really do think your voice is amazing.” You smiled fondly. “And when you have those parts in English it sounds a little different, your voice gets more, I don’t know, soft? When you talk it gets a bit lower, more well-rounded. Ah, I just love it. I could listen to you sing or talk all day.”

Your little speech might have had a bigger impact on him than you thought, because he looked at you with awe.

“T-thanks,” he finally mustered.

Soon other members showed up and took their places. You wished them luck and once again asked to watch over their maknae. When the platform started to move up, you waved at them. “Have fun, boys!”

You watched the concert backstage on the small screen. It was their first performance after Changkyun’s accident. The company issued a statement with an apology for him not being able to dance and in response fans wished him well and asked him not to worry. It warmed your heart seeing the support he was getting from the them.

The band had to rearrange the choreography a little, but as you assured the youngest, they were all professionals and they did an amazing job. It was visible that Changkyun wanted to join them but had to hold himself back. By the end of the concert Jooheon and Hoseok came up to him, grabbed him from both sides and basically carried around the stage. You watched that with your mouth open. When they finally came down, you smacked them across their necks. They smiled apologetically but you only snorted and rolled your eyes.

“Yeah, yeah, I know, those puppy eyes of his are irresistible. Go get changed, I’ll scold you some other time.”

You turned to Changkyun to check up on him, so you didn’t see the knowing glances exchanged between other members.

 

***

 

“I’m feeling great. I’m gonna dan– ”

“No, you’re fucking not. If you attempt to dance and jump around the stage, I’ll personally go up there and drag your ass to your seat. Just try me, kid.”

“I’m not a kid!”

“Then stop acting like one!” You threw your hands up in the air in frustration. “How many times did we have this talk, huh? You’re going up on the stage with the help of your hyungs, you’re going to sit on that chair and stay there. End of story.”

It’s been almost two weeks, that was their fourth concert since the accident and every time you had practically the same conversation. Changkyun’s ankle was getting better, you started the physical therapy as soon as it was possible, but you still didn’t want him to run around the stage to not worsen everything you two have been working on. But the stubborn maknae wanted to perform already, just because it wasn’t hurting that much anymore. You wouldn’t take it that bad if it wasn’t the place. The city they were having a concert, it was your hometown and you just constantly felt on edge since the moment you came here. You told yourself everything would be fine, tried calming your nerves, but the anxiety was persistently present at the back of your mind. You wanted to convince yourself nothing was going to happen. Because what really could? Nothing, right?

Oh, how wrong it was of you to believe that.

Changkyun probably sensed that something was off and didn’t press further. He just pouted but silently agreed anyway. Later, watching their performance and chatting with the members between their stages helped you a bit. The peace lasted until the end of the concert. When they were changing and preparing for going back to the hotel, a security guard entered the room.

“Y/N?”

You turned around hearing your name. “Yes?”

“Oh, good, you’re here. There’s…” He looked at all the other people in the room.

“What’s going on? Did something happen?” Hyunwoo noticed the hesitance of the guard. The latter smiled apologetically.

“I just need to speak with Y/N.” You furrowed your brows but came up to him. He leaned in and quietly explained. “There’s a woman by the back entrance, she’s very persistent and _demands_ your presence. Otherwise, as she says, she won’t leave, she’s throwing quite a fit. And she claims she’s your mother.”

You felt like your heart has stopped. This was even worse that you’ve imagined. You feared bumping into her somewhere in town, but never suspected she could come all the way here herself and make a scene. You took a shaky breath and nodded to the guard.

“I-I’ll be right back,” you said over your shoulder and really hoped it didn’t sound as panicked as you thought it did.

Seven pairs of eyes were watching you attentively as you left the room. Then the men looked at each other, worry written all over their faces.

There was no good way to prepare for what was waiting for you. You just tried to bring your rapid breathing back to normal. You had to be strong. Walking through the hallway you tried to reason with yourself. She has no power over you already, you’re a grown up, you moved away, you’re living the life you always wanted and she can’t take that away from you.

Seeing her from afar already made your palms sweaty and trembling. She was glaring at the other security guard who was keeping an eye on her. When she noticed you approaching, her lips curled into a nasty smile.

“Well, well, well, look who’s finally graced us with her presence.”

“Could you leave us? I’ll take care of this,” you said to the guards, choosing to ignore the comment. You mouthed a thank you when they nodded.

“You must be a very important person now, if the guards listen to you like obedient dogs. What a nice social status upgrade,” she hissed.

“I just asked them nicely. Maybe you should try that some time.”

“How dare you speak to me like that?!” She raised her voice and you winced. She noticed your reaction and her unpleasant grin was back in place. “Let’s get to the point. I wanted to ask you this in person, cause on the phone you weren’t too talkative. What the fuck are you doing with your life? Moving away to some god forsaken country? And you couldn’t even keep the somewhat decent job for too long to change it for _this_? What are you even doing here? You’re just slacking off, aren’t you? This is ridiculous. You’re pathetic.”

You gritted your teeth hard. You wanted to retort but your mind was painfully blank, the numbness was taking over. You desperately held back the tears, when suddenly you felt a hand on your shoulder. Surprised, you glanced to the side to see Changkyun standing right next to you. He was fiercely looking at your mother.

“She is in no way pathetic. She’s magnificent. She helped us more times than I can count and I can assure you, she’s doing her absolute best. She was and still is working hard, so maybe think twice before saying something like that.”

You watched him with awe. In the corner of your eye you noticed that the rest of the band was also there, by your side. Woman in front of you eyed Changkyun up and down, glanced behind you and then stared back at you, her face twisted in disgust.

“Not only you run away from home, you ungrateful bitch, but now you’re hanging with… _this kind_ of people?!” she spat.

You felt your blood boil. She could insult you anyway she wanted, but you wouldn’t let her badmouth your friends.

“ _Those people_ you’re so displeased with” you said through gritted teeth, “care about me more than my own family. They treat me much better than you’ve ever had, so don’t you dare speak like that and make those faces at them.”

She grimaced at you. “Of course, you probably please them with your body, so they are sure to treat you nicely, you who—“

“That’s enough. I think you should leave,” Changkyun said with a strained voice, cutting her mid-sentence. There was something in his eyes, a dangerous spark, that made the woman in front of him shut up instantly. “Leave,” he repeated in a low tone.

She looked like she wanted to add something more, but under the menacing glares she retreated. For the last time she glanced at you, with hatred in her eyes, and walked away mumbling curses under her breath.

When she was gone you closed your eyes, feeling the tears burning under your eyelids. You were breathing through your nose, trying to slow down your thumping heart. It wasn’t as bad as usual, most likely because of the comforting presence of the band members, but her words still made your insides twist. Changkyun shifted to wrap his arm around your shoulders and brought you closer. You leaned in to hide your face in his chest and he embraced you fully. He gently rubbed your back, you felt the tears eventually spilling from your eyes and you clutched to him tightly when your arms started to shake. After a moment you felt another hand on your shoulder and someone started stroking your head. All seven men offered you their support and you ended in the middle of a group hug. Suddenly you chuckled, imagining how it must have look like from the side. When they heard you snicker, they moved away, a little confused. Changkyun loosened his hold to be able to look at your face. He searched for your eyes and brushed his thumb over your cheeks to rub the tears away.

“Are you okay?” he asked quietly. You nodded, lifting one corner of your lips. “Come on, let’s get you back to the hotel.”

You couldn’t look up at other members, feeling your cheeks burn at the thought of them seeing the whole scene and you in that state. But you didn’t have the energy to pretend that you were totally fine. If you only knew that your mother planned to pay you a visit, you would’ve at least prepared yourself mentally somehow. Yet she seemed to enjoy surprising and tormenting you, so you were left with your mind shaken now. Changkyun didn’t let you go and you were grateful for that. You walked back to the changing room with him beside you, took your bag which you had fortunately already packed and proceeded to the exit.

“You guys go first, the manager is waiting for you and there are probably fans out there.” Your voice was quiet but you tried to not let it waver, so it wouldn’t show how distressed you were.

“Will you be okay?” Kihyun asked softly, worry visible in his eyes.

“Of course,” you assured him. He didn’t look convinced, but they didn’t really have a choice, they had to go out separate from you. Kihyun glanced at you for the last time and they made their way towards the exit. Changkyun grabbed your hands and squeezed them.

“We’ll wait for you at the hotel.”

When he let go and turned around, you smiled to yourself. What did you do to deserve such caring friends?

You just absentmindedly sat through the way back, neither listening to the conversations going on in the car nor taking part in them. In your room you dropped the bag on the floor and sat on the bed with a sigh, hiding your face in your hands. Your roommate went to the hotel bar and you didn’t expect her back soon, so the knock on your door startled you.

When you opened it, you were met with the sight of Hyunwoo standing in the hallway. His gentle smile instantly made you feel like home.

“Hey, how are you feeling?”

“Okay, I guess.” You shrugged and looked to the side.

“You could come to our room, we have some snacks and sweets. Only if you want to, of course.” He scratched his neck, while looking away but then locked his gaze with yours. “Look, you don’t have to tell us anything, I just want you to know we’re there for you, we’ll listen if you want us to, we’ll support you in any way we can. All seven of us.”

You felt your eyes watering and had to look up to stop yourself from crying on the spot. It took you a few seconds to make sure you won’t burst into tears, then you looked back at Hyunwoo and mustered a smile.

“Thank you, really. And maybe it’s about time I explain you some things…”

“Please don’t feel pressured, you don’t have to. We’ll be by your side anyway.”

“I know. And it’s not like I feel obliged, I just want to.” His smile widened. “Come on, lead the way.”

You followed him to one of their rooms, the biggest one, where they were all seated on the two beds and nearby armchair. They welcomed you warmly, Minhyuk immediately going for the hug and Jooheon following right after. Hoseok ruffled your hair and Hyungwon squeezed your shoulder reassuringly. Kihyun grabbed your hand and pulled you to the space between him and Changkyun on the bed. You were surprised he didn’t let go after you sat down, he just kept holding your hand and rubbing his thumb against it from time to time. Changkyun shifted closer to you so that you could actually lean on him a little.

“We’ve got snacks, a whole lot of them,” Minhyuk exclaimed. “Want something?”

“No, thanks, maybe later.” He seemed to deflate a bit, so you sent him an apologetic smile. “What I want to say will probably be occupying enough.”

The atmosphere changed at your words. The members still kept kind expressions on their faces, but the look in their eyes got a bit sadder.

“You don’t have to…” Changkyun started. You put your free hand on his thigh and smiled lightly.

“It’s okay, Kyunnie. As I already told Hyunwoo, I want to. And as you’ve already heard part of the story… Maybe not the prettiest version,” you grimaced at the memory, “but it’s easier now to fill out the rest.” You sighed quietly and shifted to sit cross-legged. “What should I start with?”

„That woman was your…” Kihyun begun hesitantly, squeezing your hand lightly.

“My mother, yes.” You absentmindedly stared at the floor. “She wasn’t always like that, I remember her from my childhood, she wasn’t that bitter and so full of hate… But when my father left us, she changed. Suddenly my grades weren’t enough, it felt like they were the reason for his leaving. I had to get only the best ones, _I_ had to be the best. As a child I didn’t understand the whole situation, my dad disappeared, my mom was sad and the thing that cheered her up, even if only for a moment, were my brilliant achievements at school so I tried my hardest to meet her expectations. In school, in extracurricular activities, whatever I was doing I was practically killing myself to score the highest. It was hard to make friends with that kind of lifestyle, but I think the worst part was the constant effort to please my mother and never achieving that.” Your voice wavered at the end but Kihyun never stopped the soothing movements of his thumb over your hand and you focused on that.

“As I grew older, I started thinking about myself more and at some point I finally saw how wrong it was what she was doing, how she was treating me, so I rebelled. She certainly didn’t like that and so the verbal abuse started. Looking back I sometimes wonder how I endured it, but I did and in the meantime I was forming a plan. I wanted to move somewhere far away from her as fast as possible so I kept working my hardest. I already told you that I was aiming for some opportunity at my uni and thanks to that I managed to, well, run away from her.” You looked up and smiled lightly at Hyungwon who was sitting opposite you on the other bed. “At some point in my life I stumbled upon kpop in general, then your music specifically, it really helped me get through a lot. And I fell in love with the language, wanted to learn it and all that gave me the idea of my destination. Plus, mother’s xenophobic, (thus those nasty glances towards you today), so me moving that far away was kind of my way of showing her the middle finger. I had a friend who also wanted to move here, different reasons, different circumstances, doesn’t matter, but the important thing was that we planned it all together and neither of us was alone in the beginning. Our paths went different ways later, but that start was important, it didn’t appear as frightening as it would have been if I were alone. And thus I freed myself from my mother. More or less, at least.”

Changkyun picked up on your last words.

“That phone call you got when we went out for dinner. It was her, wasn’t it?” he asked. You nodded and looked down at your hand, noticing that your fingers trembled slightly. The silence fell upon the room, everyone seemed lost in their own thoughts.

“I don’t want you to look at me any different now,” you finally spoke after a moment of stillness. “I told you that cause I trust you, but please don’t change the way you act towards me because of what you’ve just heard.”

“You’re amazing, Y/N.” You snapped your head up and looked at Hyunwoo with surprised expression. “You went through so much and yet you never gave up. Not many people living in toxic relations can recognize they’re in one, not to mention liberating themselves. Even though it was your closest relative, you managed to break free. I can’t imagine how hard it must have been for you, but you did great. You’re still doing great. And we can only look up to you with more admiration and respect. You’re such a brave woman, Y/N.”

You had to put a hand over your eyes, because you sure as hell didn’t expect that kind of speech and now you were emotional mess. Kihyun didn’t let go of your hand but now he was holding it tightly with both of his palms. Changkyun was stroking your back reassuringly.

Minhyuk crouched in front of you and gently took your hand away from your face. “Please don’t cry, Y/N, look, our big baby is on the verge of tears too.” He pointed at Hoseok. The said man was trying so hard to hold back but already sniffing that it made you chuckle.

“I’m not crying,” he mumbled and it put a smile on everyone’s faces cause you all knew how much of a softie he was. Hyungwon patted him on the head.

Minhyuk reached to your face and wiped your cheeks with the hem of his sleeve. Then he smiled brightly and you couldn’t help but smile in return. He got up and clapped his hands.

“Now we’re all gonna cuddle and watch some shitty movie that’s playing on tv. I’m not taking any objections.” He looked at the beds, then around the room. “We need to rearrange a little. Nightstand out of there and come on, muscle boys, pull the beds closer. And all of you get off them. Not you, Y/N, you can stay where you are.”

It was amusing to watch how efficiently he directed everybody. Kihyun got off the bed as asked, but Changkyun stayed and only smiled cheekily at Minhyuk. The older rolled his eyes but let it pass. When the rest started moving the beds, you lost your balance and swayed, but firm arms wrapped around you in a second and Changkyun steadied you against him. After it was done, everyone rushed on the bed to take the best seat and the youngest used the commotion to bring his face closer to yours.

“I’m proud of you,” he whispered to your ear and kissed your temple before moving away. Your eyes met and you felt your heart beating wildly in your chest. Those were simple encouraging words but his gaze conveyed much more than that.

“I want a hug.” Jooheon’s whine suddenly interrupted you and you both turned to him. Hyungwon smacked him on the neck and shot you an apologetic smile. “Aah, hyung, what was that for?”

You giggled, bringing his attention back to you. He still demanded that hug. Well, he “demanded” but you felt like it was his way to show support.

When everyone chose their spots, you ended up squished between Changkyun and Hoseok, who made it their mission to feed you the snacks throughout the whole movie which you didn’t really pay attention to. You focused on the seven men and the warmth spreading in your chest when you looked at them. You were afraid to use the word, but it fitted so well, cause that’s how you imagined it would feel like.

Just like a family.


End file.
